Why do you want a Ph.D.?
In order to distract myself from the overwhelming workload of my Ph.D., I wanted to read a captivating new book. Being in the final semester added an extra layer of stress as I grappled with completing projects, wrapping up manuscripts, crafting the thesis, and conducting lab experiments. For me, reading has always been the ultimate escape, allowing my mind and soul to traverse alternate realms, immersing myself in the lives of others. I decided to explore the unknown, selecting a book I had never encountered before. Thus, I downloaded the first free novel available on my Kindle. Guess what is the book about? It is about a love story of a biology Ph.D. student at Stanford University, and the first chapter is all about questioning why someone wants a Ph.D. The universe is playing tricks on me again. When I tried to ignore things related to my Ph.D., maybe for an hour, it appeared more harshly. I started to question myself, why am I doing it? Why does someone want to do Ph.D.?
This line has been in my mind since. I found a couple of answers, of course: it is because I want more freedom than industry, it is because I always want to keep up with the new generations, and academia is the best place for that, and it is because I always want to challenge myself by finding solutions to complex problems. Then, I did the best thing a researcher has ever done and refuted my thesis. I don’t have that much academic freedom since grants and advisors limit me. While academia can offer valuable opportunities to stay current, these days, new generations follow different sectors and avenues than academia. And I realized I could challenge myself in an advanced yoga pose rather than working full-time in a lab.
This example served as a demonstration of the ongoing battle between the forces of good and evil within my mind. From time to time, the winner changes. If you cannot find a valid reason to do something, it becomes torture. Your reasons can be changeable since it is a long journey, or your reasons suddenly make nonsense. Although I may not have definitive solutions to offer, I felt compelled to share these thoughts because many individuals go through similar experiences. Sometimes, finding solace in the knowledge that you are not alone can provide a sense of relief.
Feel free spread the word if you are going through similar phases or have already experienced and overcome.
We grad students survive on coffee. If you want to support me, you can always buy me one.
