정인규
Inkyu Chung
몸이 반쯤 낀 채 지하철이 출발한다
왼발: 대기선을 맹목적으로 지킴
오른발: 덜컹대는 손잡이 아래 포복함
흔들림 속에 분열하는 유약한 아침……
오늘도 나는 불구다!
반쪽짜리들의 안식처 —
그들은 옆모습과 목덜미로서 존재한다
온전함을 꿈꾸고, 온전함을 질투하고, “온전함”을
껌처럼 잘근잘근 탁, 뱉으면,
독버섯 같은 앙금, 뭉게뭉게
독한 반쪽들만 모아놓았다 참
비겁한 차창을 노려보며 컬러의 색을 고민한다
(사실 블루, 화이트 할 거 없이 전부 흑백이다, 지하라서)
무엇을 두고 왔는지 되뇐다, 힐끔힐끔,
치열한 소맷자락
각빙(角氷)처럼 쓰리다
스르르 열리는 출입문: 누군가의 실소
우리의 온전하지 못함과 우리의 덜컹거림
여실히 공개된다
넥타이의 탈을 쓴 전갈의 독침도
노출된다, 터널바람 품에
행선지는 망각한지 오래
아직도 왼발이 어딘가 껴있다
만화경처럼 싹둑싹둑
문 틈새로 내 모습이 썰려나간다
(사실 전부 흑이다, 그냥)
그들에게 나 또한 뒤틀린 도형이겠지
기어이 기억해내지 못하겠지
the subway departs with my body half-caught
left foot, unquestioningly behind the yellow line
right foot, crawling beneath the rattling straps
amid the quaking, a brittle morning splits…
I am maimed again today!
a haven for “halfies” —
they exist as profiles and scruffs of necks
dreaming wholeness, envying wholeness, “wholeness”
is chewed thoroughly and pthu, spat out
dregs of rage billow like a poisonous mushroom
such spiteful halfies here, all of them
glaring at cowardly windows and agonizing over the color of collars,
(underground, it’s all just black and white actually)
repeating under breath what it is that they have left behind, glimpsing,
fierce sleeve hems
sting like ice cubes
the automatic door: a slither of some snicker
our non-wholeness and our rattle
transparent, disclosed to the public
the scorpion’s sting dressed under a necktie
exposed also, through the tunnel wind
destination long-forgotten
left foot still stuck somewhere
snip-snip, my countenance diced and swept out the slit
like a kaleidoscope
(actually, it’s all just black)
to them I must be another contorted shape
memory must fail us until the endThe rain from two weeks ago wasn’t any better. After a sorry attempt at using my small dysfunctional umbrella to navigate the downpour, I folded it in surrender. New Haven might not be as humid as Korea, but it was colder. I shivered as I walked home, immediately falling into my bed and wrapping myself in my blanket. Before, I wanted autumn to come so badly — for the air to chill and the summer to fade — but now I longed for the warmer temperatures of the past. I felt regret leaving the window open as the wind blew into my room, but the dread of the cold air beyond my blankets took over. I let it be. Soon, night came, and after churning through some thoughts, I finally fell asleep.
