The Perfidious Neighbor
Most of us aren’t the pinnacles of erudition, yet time and time again studies have shown that when asked in what light we view ourselves when juxtaposed with our neighbor, we say we offer more insightful advice, possess greater streams of intellect and are generally more well-rounded.
As the age old platitude goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
However, as a true-Hobbesian, I believe people fall into a normal bell curve of intellectual acuity, physiology, and cognition. This holds true even as I check the “strongly agree” box in response to “Do you believe you’re smarter than the average person?”
People have been comparing themselves to others for ages. Children who are encouraged to be competitive are often seen peering over at their neighbors scores, hoping to beat them at a game of cards or in a sports pursuit. They’re pushed to be better, and more so, better than their opponents, because that is how you win.
As we grow older, I’d like to believe that the belief of personal success comes no longer as a comparison to those around you, but rather as a comparison of to who you were as recently as yesterday. Unfortunately, this is not as easily achieved as I had once been led to believe.
Let me explain-
The reason it feels beyond reach and even, recognition, is because as human beings we fail to recognize the perfidious neighbor that resides within our psyche. Not all, but many of us are currently struggling to manage the fallible nature of humanity, something of which everyone of us is a part of. And though we can acknowledge that we have demons, weaknesses, that we need to work on, we know nothing of what it means to accept those shortcomings with every essence of our being.
This is not one of those “fake it till you make it” articles, as there is enough betrayal and deception thriving nice and deep within every “acknowledged” part of us. It’s the part of us that knows that smoking is terrible for you, yet, allows you to reach for another cigarette. It is the part of you that knows that you have an alcohol problem, that you are neglecting your responsibilities or your family or friends. You are in full acknowledgement of the consequences of these actions, and you may even think that the first step was “acknowledgement”, and that you are on an unbridled course to success so long as that is true…
Well, let me tell you, it is not.
Unfortunately, acknowledgement is merely a sliver in that equation. Understanding, and the subsequent defeat of the pseudo-oblivious and duplicitous neighbor within you, is the true factor of success, peace, and personal growth.
I hesitate to use such strong words but this neighbor is nothing short of a monster. Until he is quelled by understanding (perhaps synonymous with good versus evil, or the hero versus the villian), your full potential cannot be reached. How can one possibly understand what it means to live in tragedy by simply acknowledging its existence? You cannot improve that which you do not understand, and I mean really understand.
Understand whatever it is that you are struggling with from every possible angle. Take a sheet of paper, a pen or pencil, and attack this enemy with reason. Dive into the unknown, the abyss, and relish in the vastness of the amount of untapped wisdom that can be unearthed from your situation. There are strengths there that can sooner serve as tools to fight other evils of this world. There is no need for decorum or elloquency; the shadow within you must be taken out by its root and thrust into the light in order for your healing to occur.
Each and every person has their own way of unraveling the complexities that have been laid like a foundation for their house of personalities. Whatever your medium, you will know that you have found your understanding once your inner resistance has subsided. We often tell our friends or family that we give great advice but cannot follow our own… and I fully believe this is because we fail to often understand the magnitude of that which plagues us, or that of what beckons to be changed or altered.
Undoubtedly, we are our worst critics, and without fully grasping how these habits or vices poison us, and exactly to what extent we are afflicted, we are unable to begin the process of healing. You must first realize how much you have shielded yourself from reality by way of half-truths…only then can you be greater than who you were yesterday.
