Role Modelling and Risk Taking

As a personal mastery coach, I can’t stand in front of a client and ask them to face their greatest fear if I had never been willing to do the same. If I hadn’t faced my own fears in life, it would be inauthentic of me to encourage them to do so, and my teaching experience wouldn’t be broad enough to relate to what they might face.

Some coaches believe that becoming a great coach it is about learning the ‘content’. Some believe that if they know enough techniques or the right tactics to motivate their client, they’ll become established in their coaching qualifications. While I certainly believe that knowing techniques and understanding concepts are helpful, I believe it is of greater value I focus on my ‘contextual’ development alongside my clients. What do I mean by ‘contextual development’? I mean “facing [my] fears for the purpose of having a new perspective on [my] life.”

I believe it is impossible to step into the arena of being a Life Coach and not hit my own personal challenges. I must be open to expanding my context around these challenges and constantly push myself to face my fears, particularly personally difficult areas. When I become willing to experience myself outside of my comfort zone, my life results expand phenomenally!

Einstein said it best: You cannot solve a problem from within the context that created it. So, if we can expand our context (by facing our fears), then we will have this greater insight into what is really going on in our lives, and how to cope with it in a more effective manner.

While our paradigms trap us within its constraints, our issues, challenges, the difficulties in our lives are valid and, at times, insurmountable. Because we are living in it, it is impossible to separate ourselves from it. By facing our fears and stepping out of our comfort zones we can take two steps back and really look at our problems from a new perspective. When our context has expanded, our issues, challenges and problems do not look the same.

When I face my fears, I get to look at my life differently. But the only way to get this insight is to get outside of the context within which I am currently operating. What does that involve? STRETCHING OUTSIDE OF THE COMFORT ZONE! Life Coaches — this means doing something outrageous, outside of the norm, different and scary!

Still not sure what I am talking about here? Here are a few ideas of what this could look like (Take note of your internal dialogue as you read this list):

· Do you have judgmental opinions about your body? Try a nude photo shoot! This was one of the most liberating experiences I had and completely shifted my perspective about my body. In fact, even just sharing this information with you now was a step out of my comfort zone.

· Too self-conscious to share your message? Write a speech and stand on a street corner and passionately share your point of view about divorce, abuse, or something that you stand for.

· Do you judge those who have ‘less than you’? Try spending the night on the streets! (If you do this — do it with a buddy) I’ve done this and found myself well looked after — in fact, during one night on the streets, I landed myself in the front row of a rock concert because someone had gifted me the tickets.

· Do you find it difficult to have faith? Try Bunji jumping! In 2004 I took the leap. After the Bunji jump, I was able to close my eyes and visualize the terror I felt but rationalise through the fear. That literal ‘leap of faith’ enabled me to leave an abusive marriage, leave a job and start a new career, run a marathon, cut my hair off, reduce my closet to 33 items, make a new friend… the list goes on.

· Afraid to express yourself? Try Karaoke! I sound like a cat in a microwave when I sing, but it was so much fun to just freely express myself!

· Are you a constant ‘approval seeker’? Have the experience of purposely getting kicked out of a restaurant. Now, I’m not suggesting doing something illegal or immoral, but be willing to have the experience of being asked to leave for the purpose of shifting your paradigm. I took this one on once and you know what I realized? I realised it wasn’t the end of the world and I wasn’t going to die from disapproval.

· Are you the kind of person who finds it difficult to receive? Then spend an entire day at a spa getting massaged, a manicure or pedicure, having a facial or getting your hair done! If you have never done this, I guarantee it will shift your paradigm.

· Are you the type of person who could ‘never go Vegan’? Try it for just one day! Be willing to eat tofu, drink wheatgrass and have a new experience. Are you the one who is Vegan? Try going for coffee with a dairy farmer and get to know their family for the purpose of expanding your awareness.

· Are you afraid to give to others and therefore often ‘hold back’? Then buy a bouquet of roses and hand them out to people in the mall or on the street. This can be an incredible experience.

· Are you the type of person who needs to be in control and has a hard time with receiving support? Then try spending a day in a wheelchair. I guarantee this will open your eyes and shift the paradigm on your fears and so-called problems.

· Are you perhaps attached to your looks (maybe even a little vain)? Go to your local costume store and have a scar put on your face and go out in public for the day with it on. While you are out, become aware of your internal dialogue and shifts in perspective.

· Are you always talking and have a fear of not being heard? Then try going SILENT for a day! This was a beautiful experience for me.

These are just a few ideas to get you going. A clue here is to ask yourself ‘What challenges do I face as a coach?’ See what comes up and be willing to step out of your current paradigm by shifting.

Bottom line: T see who we are and what we’re made of, we must step outside of our boxes. The further we can step, the greater the perspective we have to evolve and grow as humans. This is how we demonstrate to our clients how risk-taking creates new results in life.

Q1. As a coach — are you role modelling ‘Risking’ for your clients?

Q2. What life area are you currently struggling in and could use a shift in perspective?

Q3. What is your next STRETCH out of your comfort zone and When are you doing it?

Ground Rules for Stretching out of the comfort zone:

Obviously, you don’t want to do anything immoral or illegal when stretching out of your comfort zone, and you want to be safe. So, if you decide to spend the night on the street, make sure to bring a buddy. And become aware of the excuses you make to yourself if you DON’T stretch out your comfort zone when you said you would.

The Achologist is the official online publication for Achology, the Academy of Modern Applied Psychology for professional practitioners and life coaches.