Self-talk: Our Words have Far-reaching Ripple Effects
Perhaps, just perhaps, it’s time for some change.
I have always known that the words we use have the power to make a huge impact on people and to shape our destinies and identities. However, being the perfectly imperfect human I am, there are times I forget how important self-talk is in the shaping of my life.
Words shape and define our lives, particularly those we use when talking to ourselves. Centuries of literature all across the globe have talked about the fundamental importance of language: from ancient scriptures to legends, myths, parables, our fables and fairy tales. The brain evolves through a marvellous inbuilt neuro-plasticity. Scientists and researchers studying the human brain, with its intricacies and functioning, neural pathways, the pre-frontal cortex, the amygdala, hypothalamus, pituitary, hippocampus and pineal gland, have argued through research that the words we use have a huge impact on how we show up and live our lives.
Have you ever taken notice of the words you use? If not, it’s time to start right away.
Today, try to be attentive to your speaking. If you feel comfortable with the idea, you can ask your family, friends or your colleagues to notice and repeat the words and phrases you use most often back to you. You could even try to record yourself during the day and listen to the tape recording.
Then, try to identify the feelings those words provoke in you. Are the words you use most often empowering you, nurturing you or empowering others? How do those words make you feel? How do those words make others feel? Besides the words, try also to note the tone of voice where possible: it will reveal a lot about your state of mind.
We often forget the power that words have on us. Let us try to reclaim that power. As for everything else, it all starts with awareness.
A few years ago, I worked on this exercise with my friends. I would often point out the disempowering phrases and words they were using and noting their body language. It thrilled me to help my friends and colleagues change their language, which ultimately positively influenced their perceptions, attitude, results, satisfaction, happiness, joy and more. Yet as time went by and I was the one who had difficulties in life, my friends turned the tables on me and asked me to challenge and change my language! It was a thinly (or not so thinly) veiled case of, “Practice what you preach, Tina!”
That was an interesting eye-opener for sure! I realised that I was paying a lot of attention to what others were saying but I had forgotten to apply it consistently to myself! Needless to say, I paid attention, and soon enough, I was once again able to own my entire outlook on life. As a result, my results changed.
That is the power words have in shaping our destiny; in driving us; in motivating us; in keeping us stuck; in helping us get unstuck; in allowing us to run smoothly through our days and execute effectively the journey of our life Go on, start becoming aware of how you express yourself externally and, more importantly, internally.
TOP TIP: This is even more effective if you can do it with a buddy invested in their growth like you are. They can reflect your typical word-structures and modes of habitual expression back at you to help you grow.
The Achologist is the official online publication for Achology, the Academy of Modern Applied Psychology for professional practitioners and life coaches.
