A Healthy Relationship Is a Series of Difficult Conversations

Get out of your love bubble and face reality.

Renata Ellera Gomes
Renata Ellera Archive

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Photo by Jayson Hinrichsen on Unsplash

Having difficult conversations is not an easy skill to learn, especially if you’re sensitive and didn’t get a say at home when you were a child. If you grew up in an “adults talk, children listen” household, you might have a hard time finding your voice — or believing your voice matters in the first place.

In adulthood, a couple of unhealthy relationships might teach you that voicing opinions doesn’t really lead anywhere but an argument, and consequently, a breakup. So you learn to hold your piece and “go with the flow,” accepting whatever comes your way and avoiding difficult conversations for as long as humanly possible.

You refrain from saying things because you’re afraid to rock the boat. You’re afraid of being judged, misunderstood, and invalidated. You postpone asking certain questions because you’re afraid you might not like the answer. You’d rather assume what your loved one is thinking than having that difficult conversation you don’t feel emotionally ready to have.

All along, you’re missing out on a healthy, happy relationship where your thoughts are heard and your feelings, respected.

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Renata Ellera Gomes
Renata Ellera Archive

Writing about love, relationships, culture, and life in general. Get my book, Acid Sugar, at shorturl.at/hvAVX