Man + Woman Ver 2.0
Two men are standing at the boarding gate, waiting to catch an early-morning flight. They look accomplished, highly driven, successful. They are casually dressed — hence not corporate slaves. Must be entrepreneurs.
The two are deep in conversation. One is doing the talking, the other is listening. Nodding occasionally. What could they be talking about — business? politics? sports?
Turns out the topic is marriage. The one talking is angry, the one silent is angry too. Things did not turn out the way they imagined.
“We are two strangers living under the same roof. Bound by a surname, by offspring and joint investments.”
When did it start unravelling? Too far back to remember. Can anything be done now? No, we’ve tried therapy but it isn’t working.
Man and woman start a journey together but along the way, one of them wanders away. This person wanted to grow, to explore, to reach a new destination.
The other is stagnant, has no desire to change. Comfort, security and routine — why ask for more?
The one who steps away can do so physically. With a new man or a new woman. Or many new men and new women. But there are other ways too.
The part which wanders away can be the mental body, the emotional body, the spiritual body. These bodies seek nourishment from other sources.
At the first level, you throw yourself into work. Chase assets, achievement and awards.
At the second level, you become self-aware. The external stuff matters less and less. You are now on a journey within.
You read books, watch TED talks and attend seminars. Some find a guru, join an ashram. Breathe deeper and feel calmer, than ever before.
At the third level, you see the Big Picture. You do what you need to do, but with a sense of detachment. Minimise the ego. Maximise the flow.
Flow of energy, of positivity, of purpose. Yeh and woh ceases to bother you — it is what it is. It can’t stop you from where you need to go.
This brings me to the crucial question. Was it problems with the partner, that led to the seeking. Or was it the seeking that created the problems?
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi — a seeker, if ever there was one. But what about his wife? To be at his side was a duty — Kasturba abided and evolved.
On the opposite end of the spectrum Annapoorna Devi, wife of Pandit Ravi Shankar. The marriage was failing, she was more talented, musically.
Yet to ‘save’ this situation, she took a vow before her guru and goddess Sharda Ma to ‘never perform in public’. The marriage failed anyway.
Both the above examples would probably pan out differently today. Kasturba ver 2.0 might say hey, this is not what I signed up for. Give me the simple life, yo.
Annapoorna ver 2.0 would probably walk out on this insecure man and go on to make the world a richer place with her music.
We have evolved, but the institutions we are bound to are not evolving. Marriage for the sake of social status and security is mostly the norm today. At a time when these matter less and less.
The soul is on its journey. It needs be unfettered, it needs to be free. A man and a woman should be together out of conscious choice. Aiding each other’s evolution.
Not living in separate bedrooms, paying the EMI, sharing a dhobi.
