Stuff Poor People Like.

Hellos! I am studying about poor people. It is sad. But we conscious activists can help them. Here’s a list of things poor people like.

Participatory democracy.

Poor people have taken an ethical stance against the accumulation of capital. As David Harvey has proven, capital accumulation is antithetical to true democracy. Poor people know this and have chosen to live in poverty. Nonetheless, they face constant struggles in solidarity with their fellow poor people.

Budding activists can use this to our advantage. Approach the Poor Man. Tell him about Paolo Freire. Tell him about Chomsky and Arundati Roy. The Poor Man will be very grateful to you. He will tell other people about those groundbreaking theorists, and then you’ll have yourself a full-on community of people all living and struggling in solidarity with each other.

Once you have formed your community, you are ready for part 2.

Sitting in circles.

The decades-old practice of sitting in circles was invented by some truly revolutionary thinkers who realized that sitting in rows and columns was oppressive. It instills capitalist values because it makes people think that the guy at the front of the room explaining particle physics knows more about the subject than the rest of the audience does.

This is a profoundly counter-revolutionary practice that serves only to keep people in chains. Instead, free them. Put all the chairs in a circle.

That way, when the guy with 46 years of experience opening small businesses in four countries can be shown how truly ignorant he is because he has never heard of transrelational autochtonous social dispersion and how it intersects with the dialectic of psycho-subversal gender chaos mode.

Real life experience is worth less than spending one semester reading theses that have been read by 12 other people in all of human history. So when you get in that equality circle, be sure to scream “DELTA” at the top of your lungs every time someone uses oppressive vocabulary such as, “I was at my job when I…” etc. People who talk about jobs or opening new businesses to solve a problem in their community are evil capitalist oppressors who want to force “sex” onto the world.

Realizing that “sex” is bad.

As activists, we know that each act of hetero“sex”ual intercourse is a violation of our sovereign corporeality. The fact that there might be a male anywhere on Earth sticking his evil phallus into a weak helpless female is something that should make us all vomit. The fact that a helpless woman might be getting consensually raped by her husband means that we are all being raped this very moment.

Poor people understand the evility of “sex,” which is why they only practice it when necessary to produce future revolutionaries. All acts of “sex” not aimed at producing future revolutionaries are oppressive.

The true oppressive nature of “sex” is revealed for the first time when you simply utter the word.

Trigger warning: Your mouth will oppress and rape you if you do the following practice.

Say the word ““sex”” out loud. How did it go? Awful, right? Yeah, that’s why we’ve made sure to put safe quotes around it: “Sex.”

When that first oppressive letter “S” slides oppressively out of your mouth you know that you’re about to have a horrible and traumatizing and triggering experience. We know the letter is evil because it also exists in the word “penis” and “phallus.” It’s a supremely common letter in the English language, which proves how oppressive our mother tongue truly is. And notice how it’s Mother Tongue? That’s more gender oppression. The English language is filled with letters that spell “penis” and “phallus,” yet we call it mother tongue as if to violate the sovereign corporeality of our very mothers.

So you’ve said the letter “s,” and you’re getting closer to saying the letter “e.” Each nanosecond forces more oppression on you. Then when you get to the “x,” the rape is complete. This makes us all rape survivors.

If only those right wing Christians weren’t such evil oppressors themselves, we could make common cause with them in our co-wars to exterminate “sex.”

[Note to all those fighting in solidarity, we must look into ways to make common cause with the Christians on this one little issue. Then after “sex” is gone, we can get back to hating each other. Bear in mind, this proposal is only open to those with three post graduate degrees, at least five years experience teaching Gender Organizing in small liberal arts colleges, and five years experience actually organizing Gender TransRelational Communities. Also, you have to be of either Chinanteco or Aymara origin. Applicants with any percentage of European blood will be shot on sight. Females with disabilities are especially encouraged to apply. All these restrictions are imposed because we care so deeply about inclusivity.]