Are you Enjoying Being Single?

Finding the right partner is a data gathering exercise……..enjoy it!

How’s your love life? Getting any?

If you are, then you probably don’t need to read this article, although you might enjoy the confirmation bias it provides.

If you aren’t, read on…

The mating game isn’t hard.

TLDR: Ladies, give men you fancy the eye for more than 2 seconds, and end with a smile. If he fails to approach, he’s probably not worth it.

Men, look your best, carry yourself well and keep your eyes open for interested glances from women who fancy you. Don’t bother approaching women unless they have signalled they’re interested, it will be much better for your confidence. Enjoy yourself, and learn to love your own company. Women love a confident man who’s not bothered. If they smell desperation, they’ll run a mile.

What makes a woman attractive to men?

I’m a guy, so this should be relatively straightforward, but as with all things romantic, it probably won’t be (leave your comments below).

At the risk of coming across as a stereotypical bloke, I’m going speak about sexual attraction, and never mind the feminists.

Men want to mate with women who are attractive, who don’t want to change them, but accept them (mostly) as they are, and are not neurotic.

The mating instinct is a primal urge, and a strong one at that. Men respond predictably to certain feminine signals. Ladies, make judicious use of your womanly charms and you can even get a proposal out of your chosen man.

Give him sexual pleasure, and a safe haven where he can come, and love him for who he is, without trying to change him (too much). Give him space, don’t nag. Just be nice to him. Give him all of these things and he’ll fall in love with you and ask you to marry him.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.

– Jerry Seinfeld

Men are attracted to women who display attributes which make men want to mate with them. This is fairly obvious to both men and women, and to those who work in advertising.

Here’s the hit list;

• A waist to hip ratio of between 0.67 and 0.8 (24”–28” waist, 36” hips), ideal for child-bearing,
• ample breasts for feeding the offspring you will have together.
• A pretty face is a thing of beauty, but if you aren’t blessed with natural beauty, accentuate your best features (eyes, lips, or perhaps you have a lovely strong nose?)
• The buttocks imitate the breasts and of course
• Legs can be things of great beauty too, even those which are a bit sturdier atop thicker ankles. Like a beautiful tree lined driveway to a grand country house, a woman’s legs lead the way to what your man is really interested in. Have your driveway looking as good as you can.

Having these attributes doesn’t necessarily mean anything, as all great female seductresses know. You may have it, but to attract men you’ve got to flaunt it too.

That doesn’t mean you need to dress like a stripper – remember you might meet your future husband – but you need to make the most of your attributes, in an unashamed way. If the thought of parading yourself in order to attract your future husband makes you feel uncomfortable, you needn’t listen to me, just stand back and watch less beautiful, less funny, and less clever women take the men you want from under your nose.

It’s not that they’re more attractive than you. Actually it is that they’re more attractive, they’re using their skills to be attractive to men. They may not be pretty, but they are better at signalling to men than you are.

All you need to do to attract a man is to look your hottest – your choice precisely what that means – and then give the man you have selected the eye. Prolonged eye contact for more than 2–3 seconds, with a smile at the end, is all it takes. If the object of your affection has any testosterone in his balls, he’ll see your green light and will be over shortly to say hi.

If he doesn’t, you probably don’t want to be mating with him anyway, you want stronger genes than that in your blood line. Give him a few long (longing) glances and if he doesn’t bite, try elsewhere or call it a day.

Once you’re talking, let it flow. Be yourself. There’s no need to be anything other than you are. Being genuinely who you are is the most attractive thing you can be. If you have ‘issues’ (we all have issues but I mean if you are a bit neurotic) then consider doing some personal development work, meditate, spend time with male friends in a non-sexual way (not gay ones, heterosexual males, maybe those already in long term relationships) have periods of sexual abstinence and really get to like your own company. When you really like yourself, it will be easy for others to like you too.

Have fun, take your time. Gather data about what you like and what you don’t. You can’t arrive at your idea of the perfect mate without dating quite a few people. If you don’t play the field (data gathering), you’ll settle down too early with the wrong person, or spend the rest of your life wondering whether the grass is greener, when you could have tried it out for yourself and realised that it isn’t.

What makes men attractive to women?

There are, I understand, chat forums on the internet which dole out dating advice to young men about how to attract women.

Listen up guys. It isn’t rocket science. Women like a man with two things: money and confidence. Money signals success, and your successful ability to provide for her offspring once you’ve successfully mated.

But confidence is what really matters to women, as it often leads to success and money further down the line.

Ladies want a man who is just that, a man. They might think they want someone different, but deep down women want a strong minded, confident man who is comfortable in his own skin, and can provide protection and resources for her family.

Guys, please don’t go around looking to attract women by clowning around, being silly or funny, or flashing the cash – unless you like being the object of gold diggers’ attention.

The thing is, you don’t get to choose a woman anyway. 9 times out of 10 women choose the men they want, and the men either accept the invitation, or they don’t.

It’s hard to say why you fancy someone enough to want to take their clothes off and touch their soft fleshy bits, but sometimes a woman fancies you and sometimes she doesn’t.

Men, increase your chances of being given the eye by being in shape (exercise and keep your waist to hip ratio around 0.9) dress well (includes good shoes, nice hair), look after your teeth (get an electric toothbrush and brush your teeth with interdental brushes daily – nothing will kill romance faster than halitosis) and carry yourself well.

Most of your comportment comes out of how you feel about yourself. Learn to love yourself, go out and have fun, and keep your eyes peeled for women giving you the look.

Stop looking at porn, start to see women as real people – like you hopefully – with perfect imperfections. The higher you place someone on a pedestal, the more hurt you’ll be when they eventually fall from it. Be realistic. There is only one God, and your future lover isn’t it.

You don’t need to be stopping to scan the room every few minutes, just keep your eyes open to longer than normal glances. If a woman makes eye contact and then looks down or away, that’s a no. But if a lady likes the look of you, she’ll find a way to get your attention. How you respond once she has, is up to you.

Don’t freak out, this isn’t a marriage proposal (yet, though it could turn into one), strike up a conversation and see where it leads. If you get on well, great. If not, then great too.

For every dustbin, there’s a lid that fits

- Clive Fordom

You now know a little more about what you don’t like, and therefore what you do like. More data gathered. And there’s plenty more better suited fish in the sea for you.

You want a good match for who you genuinely are, and it will come. Patience my boy! As my workmate Clive used to say “for every dustbin, there’s a lid that fits”. Thanks Clive!

Have fun. If you fancy the girl, ask her if she wants to do (something you’ve discussed while you’ve been chatting) some time. You’ve got a date arranged. Congrats.

Enjoy the Sifting Process

There will come a time one day when you’ve achieved your goal, you’ll be married with 2.4 children, and you’ll look back fondly on all of your past conquests. Enjoy the data gathering process while you can, it won’t be this way forever.