Habit Forming
We all know how hard it can be to break a habit. What if there was an easier way? First it might help to understand why it’s so hard to break ‘bad habits’ in the first place:
- Physical — Tobacco is perhaps the best known habit causing a physical addiction that is both pleasurable and creates withdrawal symptoms. Sugars (mild) and Pharmaceutical Painkillers (severe) are a couple along the spectrum of physically addictive.
- Circumstance — These are habits largely formed by your upbringing and current surroundings. Based on our human need to belong, it’s easy to get pulled by the local societal and familial norms. Like fish in water, many bad habits are formed unconsciously or at least early or isolated enough that the individual isn’t yet aware of the consequences nor would know any differently.
- Choice — These are the conscious habits. We are aware and still choose. As difficult as 1 & 2 are, these can be the hardest as they are rooted in emotions and spirit. Apathy, for example, leads lots of folks down the path of poor diet, excessive tv, substance abuse, and other dissociative behaviors.
While I’m not a big fan of so called Principles and Keys, I am a big fan of Habits. It’s the things we do most often that have the greatest impact on our life. Habits are formed by our thoughts and actions over time. Of course we tend to associate habits with things that are bad and should be stopped, but I recommend starting with your good habits and making them hard to break instead!
Physics tell us that, “energy is neither created nor destroyed, but rather moves and transforms” and Yin-Yang Theory demonstrates the “mutually consumptive” nature of all things in that if there’s too much of one thing, there’s not enough of the other. The science suggests that with enough good habits, there won’t be time or energy for the bad ones…
“It will be difficult to break the habits of thinking Abnegation instilled in me, like tugging a single thread from a complex work of embroidery. But I will find new habits, new thoughts, new rules. I will become something else.” ― Veronica Roth, Divergent
Want to stop smoking? Replace it with a 5-min brisk walk, meditation or ping-pong game with your (former) smoking buddy. You will be creating great new habits that can benefit your body, mind, happiness, and fulfillment. Use money as a motivator and make a habit of saving the cash from your cigarettes for something special… concert, visit to the spa, or training seminar.
What about the less obvious ‘bad’ habits? They are only bad if they continue to go unaddressed. Otherwise, recognizing and being willing to improve has already begun the process of positive transformation. Make a habit about being reflective so that you may become aware of these hidden gems.
For example habits in our verbal communications, like interrupting or interrogating, are very disruptive to a healthy relationship and can go unnoticed and even rewarded in the short-term. Watch as feelings of superiority creep into our mindsets, while empathy leaks out as we gain positions of power. It’s hard to see these things and we may tend to blame Circumstance rather than Choice. Actively seeking feedback and being receptive to it are great practices that lead to better relationships at home and work.
Look at everything that is going well in your life. What are your routines around these activities?
Successful leaders and executives tend to read a lot. Marketing gurus habitually refine and target their messaging. Sales professionals regularly go out of their way to create personal relationships with clients. Good managers continually seek out their staff for advice. Fit people tend to eat well and exercise regularly. Calm individuals practice mindfulness and meditation. Happy people do things they enjoy.
“Successful people are simply those with successful habits.” — Brian Tracy
What are some of your best habits? Might I suggest doing them more!
