Adam’s Notebook
Published in

Adam’s Notebook

Charge of the Phone Brigade

Image courtesy of @CTD, via Twitter

Half a volt, half a volt,
Half a volt onward,
Faced with impending screen-death
Rushed the iPhoners:
“I’m down to two percent!
Plug in the cord!” they rant;
To the charge-socket went
Frantic iPhoners

“Boot-up the phone!” they said
Was there a one dismayed?
Not though the battery bled
Power like a sieve, there.
Theirs not to do better,
Theirs not to find fitter,
Theirs but to check twitter
Back in the valley of Phone
That they might live there.

Is there a text from Nan?
What’s up on instagram?
Has aught retweeted them?
Anxiously scrolling.
Stormed at with news updates,
Whom which TV-star dates
Into the clicks of Death
Onto the Site of Hell
Online logrolling.

Phoneapp to right of screen,
Phoneapp to left of screen,
Phoneapp in front of them
Tempted and beckoned;
Scroll down with doomy gloom,
In the enormous room
Tweeting towards the tomb
Sharing the memes of Curse,
TikTok and Metaverse,
Worse giving way to worse
Second by second.

When will their phone recharge?
O may their Likes enlarge!
All the world’s loners.
See their fine camera lens!
Thousands of pounds they spend,
Addict iPhoners!



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Adam Roberts

Adam Roberts

Writer and academic. London-adjacent.