graduation is the road to the future
A short sentimental reflection on the university experience jolted by a milestone: receiving glossy printed grad photos.
Wind warning, rain warning, gloomy skies — oh Vancouver, you know how to set a tone. Weather is a constant topic here in Vancouver. Whether you’re rejoicing or complaining about it, it’s the one thing that really binds us all together. And on this particular day, I picked up my grad photos.
For the first time, I feel like it’s coming to an end.
I was shown each print one-by-one probably more as a confirmation rather than a quality check. I noticed the subtle and the not-so-subtle happiness shown through my facial expression, the awkwardness of my hand on the prop degree, and the gradient, lightly-patterned background that signals a picture with a milestone attached.
With every $100 purchase at the studio, they throw in a free 5"x7" print of your chosen composite photo with the caption: “GRAD 2019.” When I saw this one, I realized that this was the first time I imagined myself on the wall of composites forever in the Macleod building tying me indefinitely to my program: “Electrical and Computer Engineering.”
As I walked the few blocks home, I noticed a new lens in my world. It’s a lens of memory. It’s a lens of reflection. It’s a lens that’s aware of the beginning of the end of this chapter.
I glanced from storefront to storefront remembering my first impressions of the stores I have never entered and the friendships I enjoyed at the restaurants and bars I have frequented over the past few years since moving to the neighbourhood. I grinned at the closed Swiss Chalet that has been empty all year recently marked by “CHOOSE LOVE” graffiti. I walked by the house with the light-up penguins chasing each other down the slide among its plethora of unfailing holiday decorations.
And on this walk home, there was a sudden surge of emotion taking the form of welled tears and tight blinks knowing that this university journey is almost over.
8 courses remain that demand my attention.
8 finals more. (including my last one of the term on Monday)
8 months more.
(I do want to note that these numbers weren’t planned but that is a lucky number, eh?)
Over the past 52 months that I have been enrolled in my undergraduate degree, I can’t help but think about what has gotten me this far and the moments, trips, and connections that have made this culminating feeling bittersweet. It’ll be hard to find another place that provides such an immersion in opportunity and growth. It’ll be harder to find the next big steps and chances because the radius of possibility only increases from here. It’ll be hardest to leave the constant routine of focused on-campus growth.
I’m referencing the search for new projects and clubs every four months. I’m referencing the literal campus growth in the form of buildings, food outlets, refresh of students. I’m referencing the more (and less) campus feels like home when you go from a brand-new first year looking for orientation events, to someone who bumps into familiar faces at the heart of campus, to a graduating student that sees the next student waves that will, in time, define the campus into theirs instead of mine.
And of course, I want to reflect on why it feels like such a special moment for me. The people I have met push me to do more, think critically about the choices I make, and realign my ambition to what I truly value. The friendships I have built are my comfort — something like a warm fuzzy blanket among a cold winter breeze. The friendships I have developed have each made my life better from the laughs to the transits to the quarrels to the campfire moments. The courses I have taken make a mark on my brain even though some knowledge just comes for a visit. The buildings have brought me a sense of familiarity and belonging to the chaotic happenings on campus with each person there with different visions, go-to coffee spots, and favourite study areas, and places for downtime.
It doesn’t end there and there’s a lot I haven’t said about what the organizations and clubs on campus have taught me about building familiar communities, what the campus perpetuates and what it lacks, what a virtual connection or named affiliation changes how the world sees you, etc.
It’s also not the end yet. The closer the end gets, the more dedicated I get to making each remaining moment worth it and savouring those feelings because like all feelings, they fade to make room for more.
