Heading home in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic
This strange time necessitated a bittersweet goodbye to my time abroad — then called for home
Strange, exceptional, wild. Those are the words I frequently hear when people express the current situation that defines our present moments and will describe 2020 for decades to come.
A quick side note: SARS-COVID-2 is the specific name of the virus, and COVID-19 is the name of the infectious disease but many outlets refer to it as the coronavirus. In line with most daily conversation, I’m using the term ‘coronavirus’ in this post to reference the infectious disease for readability.
I’m a Canadian who was working in Berlin for the short term. I’m just a 20-something that wanted to travel as much as I could after graduation. The original plan was to wrap up this stint in Europe then to walk across the stage for graduation.
Traveling in Europe as it escalates and circulates
Of the 10 weekends I spent in Europe, 6 of those were spent outside of Berlin. I started out in the Nordics with little to no mention of coronavirus. In February, I hopped on a bus to Leipzig with little concern other than the weariness of traveling solo for the first time. From there, I spent weekends in Prague and Budapest each alternating with visits from friends in Berlin. Sometime in between, cases starting popping up more frequently around Europe. Over those four weeks, I started seeing people wearing masks and hearing more talk about how the coronavirus was affecting other parts of Europe but not once did I think that I would soon see a halt to my Europe adventures. My main concern, trickled down from my parents, was about potential racism which I thankfully didn’t experience. I even asked my friends, in a news chat made specifically because of the coronavirus, if I should come home but no one had a strong stance either way.
Soonafter, the World Health Organisation declared a pandemic.
I flew to Manchester two days later with the trip intention as a visa run. The entire time, I was on higher alert than usual keeping track of the number of people wearing masks and feeling reflexes of tension when I heard someone cough. The UK had already been criticized for their response but since the government hadn’t enacted any particular measures yet, the weekend streets and bars were packed for St. Patrick’s Day festivities.
The concern quickly shifted to health. More and more stories are coming out from 20-somethings who thought like I did — that it wouldn’t be that bad if someone relatively young and healthy with no prior medical conditions was infected — and are urging that discourse to change as they experience it themselves. I wonder how the actions of the younger generations would have differed if this myth was never part of the conversation. It’s a classic scenario where we let our guards down based on the information we chose to believe.
Flying out of Munich on my last leg home, almost half of the people I saw had masks on — the most I had seen thus far.
WFH, the new normal
My company started working from home on Monday, March 9 — around one week before social distancing became the main media message across Germany, the US and Canada.
I enjoy remote working but I’ve discovered that what I’m really looking for is workday flexibility. I lean towards extroversion and indeed, people and conversation fuel my work and life. Having worked remotely in previous engagements, I was happy to take the precautions. But this time was different. I found myself constantly curious about the rising numbers, how different governments were reacting, all of it. My train of thought would dive into work then always reroute through the coronavirus tunnel. But that’s okay, Twitter reasoned. We’re trying and for now, that’s okay.
We started having morning coffee chats and it was hard to escape conversations around the coronavirus. Then again, of course it is. At the moment, this situation has affected literally every part of our lives including the memes, the climate, and the way we fill our time.
What changes in our lives will be accelerated from this? What will never be the same? How will this change our daily interactions, unresolved worries, and expectations for life?
I was up to date with the rumours. Postponed graduation ceremonies (not mine, yet), cancelled internships, missed travel opportunities — everything was on the table and the decisions would rest in the hands of time. I tried my best not to think about how this would affect the milestones and memories we planned for 2020.
Deciding, within 24 hours, to leave Berlin
To leave or to stay, at first, was a confusing choice. Both would require 2 weeks of self-isolation upon return to Canada and social contact limited to Zoom until we ease up on in-person social distancing.
“If you’re a Canadian abroad, it’s time to come home.”
I can’t remember the last time I watched a live press conference from the Prime Minister — or if I ever have before this. I had been reading the speculations about border closures to non-citizens and turned to CBC at 6pm. It was Monday, March 16th. Hearing these exact words, “If you’re a Canadian abroad, it’s time to come home,” spoke to me in a way that I would eventually recognize as relief. I was surprised, like most, at how straightforward the words were said but when the Prime Minister and three separate friend groups suggest for you to come home, it’s an easy decision to put into action.
5 days later, I would be on my flight through Munich then onwards back to Canada.
The days up to departure
On the day I booked my flight to leave Germany on Wednesday, March 18, there were 12,327 confirmed cases in Germany with 519 in Berlin.
When I left three days later, there were 24,873 confirmed cases in Germany with 1,071 in Berlin.
On Thursday, I took my last walk around Berlin from home to work to one of my frequented coffee shops to Brandenburg Gate. When I stopped by the coffee shop, I asked how he was doing. He simply gestured to the empty restaurant. He mentioned how it wasn’t sure if he would continue to open next week as there are rumours of a lockdown coming. I grabbed a large latte macchiato and one last slice of homemade cheesecake and wished him the best. I had promised him for weeks I would write a Google review and I did later that day. As I made my way to Brandenburg Gate, an arbitrary but reasonable conclusion to my route, I was feeling particularly sentimental about the museums I thought I could spread out over my remaining weekdays, about the weekly routines that have been abruptly cancelled, and about how the situation is out of my hands.
I could’ve stayed. If I stayed, I would likely spend 6 additional weeks with activity outside of my comfortable studio limited to grocery shopping and occasional walks. But going home, I would have the comfort of everything that defines home to me and the security of a familiar healthcare system. Numbers are scary but as they rise to thousands and tens of thousands, the magnitudes become numbing. There’s little way to tell if there would be a higher chance of infection in Germany or Canada. It became a choice for stability and reassurance and I’m glad I made it.
Optimal circumstances — a combination largely of luck, coincidence, and mindset
I’m one of those people that plans my life by months about a year in advance. Heading home is actually jumping forward in my plan and not entirely disruptive to what I want. This allows me to spend more than three weeks (I know, at a distance for two weeks) in-person with my family since the summer of 2017 and before that, 2014 when I moved across the country for university. It allows me to temporarily close the distance in my relationship since he moved 10 months ago. Other than a brief 2.5 month summer job that I’m yet again conditionally traveling for, this is probably my hometown return for the net foreseeable while. I’m hesitant to say that I’m back for good but in times like these, I’m excited to settle in and treasure it.
In times like these, I’m very blessed to be in my circumstances. I can continue and wrap up my internship from home, despite the time zone hurdles up ahead. The transparency and empathy I’ve seen given the uniqueness of this situation has been another key source of comfort and definitely helps make this easier.
It’s bittersweet but I’m thankful for being able to keep my promise to my past self — at least for three months. In hindsight, these three months have been a chaotic mix of understanding life after university and condensed travel. Just as we figured out a pattern we enjoyed, it was time to head home. I know, I’m simply sentimental.
Take care of yourselves and your communities, and we’ll see each other soon on the other side (of the screens, on Zoom, and eventually, in huggable distance).
Stats extracted from this dashboard from Berliner Morgenpost. The stats from different sources are bound to vary so take them as ballparks rather than exacts.
Here are some stellar links I’ve found helpful in understanding context:
