The new film Beautiful Boy is a truly honest tale of the cycle of drug use, relapse and recovery
It’s never an easy journey
The new film, Beautiful Boy, follows the true story of Nic Sheff’s struggle with a crystal methamphetamine addiction and his father David’s mission to support him. It vividly documents the complexity and ambiguity which often surrounds drug use. Steve Carell’s character David loves his son. That love, intertwined with panic, comes through so strongly it’s almost suffocating. We watch him ringing round hospitals, finding rehabs and looking for his son down dingy alleys. Nic, played by Timothée Chalamet, gets better for a while and then relapses. It keeps happening. It feels like a downward spiral. At one stage David gives up all together, “I don’t know how to help him. I failed.”
Taking drugs, is by definition, intoxicating. It can be very difficult to stop taking something which can wrap you up in cotton wool, make you feel invincible or take your troubles away for a few hours or days. You can hide and push down all of your feelings, anxiety and worries. The real world fades away and becomes a distant dream. But eventually real life starts to assert itself and what started out as fun and a way to unwind can become a trap from which it’s hard to escape.
This cycle of use, relapse and recovery is a defining feature of alcohol and drug dependency. But it’s unusual to see it portrayed with such honesty. We all like a nice, neat ending with everybody living happily ever after. The trouble is, that’s not really how life works. It can take people a number of attempts to stop using substances, and the people I’ve worked with over the years have often tried a lot of different things to get better. They often feel like they’ve cracked it, only for things to get worse again.
Recently I met Luke who’s currently living in his car. He’s 43 and has seen so many ups and downs he can barely count them anymore. Three years ago he “got well”, bought his own house and started a family with his girlfriend. He described being “so proud” but then “a few things went wrong”, he lost his job and he had to sell the house. Eventually his girlfriend left with his two small children.
Luke’s pain and anguish is palpable. He says he’s at rock bottom, but for lots of people I’ve worked with over the years there isn’t just one rock bottom. It can be really tough to find the right way up.
So, if you are stuck in that trap, how do you get yourself out? One thing which really makes a difference is care and support from people who have been on the journey with you — whether that’s friends, family or bonds made during recovery. When you are where Luke is now, you need a map and people to offer a hand to help you on your way. Recovery is about getting a new sense of purpose and direction. But the thing which most often saves lives along the way is family, friends and human connection. It might sound glib, but it’s the truth: it’s people who make the difference. It’s very hard to do it on your own.
It’s important to remember though that the support from family can be just as hard to give. How do you keep loving someone when you don’t feel like you can trust them? The lies and deceit are often a big part of why people’s relationships break down.
Family members need help in their own right. Shame and guilt are often huge factors. All too often those feelings spill out and affect mothers, fathers, siblings and children too. Forgiving yourself and your loved one can feel like a herculean task, but trust can be rebuilt. It’s a slow process, with bumps in the road. But as David and Nic’s real life tale shows, over time and with love, it is possible.
If you or someone you love needs help or support, reach out. You can contact an advisor on our website addaction.org.uk
Addaction is the official charity partner for Beautiful Boy. You can learn more about how we’re working together here. The film is released in UK cinemas on Friday 18 January 2018.
