Member-only story
How I got rid of my gambling addiction
And what, instead of money, I took away from it
I lost $3000 that night. The realization of that amount only came in the morning when I woke up. I didn’t manage to beat the casino, instead, the gambling house knocked out the last money from my wallet, and with that, my self-worth. I was showered in self-blame, anger, frustration and sadness. Caught up in a spiral that only could go down further. Still, I had that devil voice inside telling me that next time I would be the winner. When I got out of it 10 years later, I had lost roughly $100.000, but won my life back. How did I manage to swim to the surface of dark nights of raging adrenaline, scattered hope and roulette balls hitting the wrong numbers?
Obsessive Behavior
I admit, I have an obsessive character. Nothing wrong with that in fact. Fueled with ambition, passion and a good set of brains it got me to be successful in my work. In fact, during the period of my gambling addiction, I was also addicted to my work. Funny and bitter enough, after another loss, I used to work twice as hard the following days. The rent had to be paid. Simple math.
But let me start from the beginning, how did I get myself into this game that you only can lose since you fight with yourself? And what did I take out of it?
