Journeying Home

Living in a Global Pandemic

Using the term roller coaster to describe the year 2020 is an understatement. Personally, I have experienced some feelings I have never felt before. New Year’s Eve 2019 should have been my first indicator that 2020 wasn’t going to be the year everyone was expecting. The night was a complete disaster, we even missed the ball drop in Times Square. New Year’s Day 2020 my family awoke to our patio door shattered into a million pieces: looking back on it now, this was sign number two. Anyway, I still believed in my heart that 2020 was going to be my year. However, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

My feelings during this global pandemic bring to mind some well-known characters from the past. At the moment, our world is stuck in a place far from normalcy. Because of my recent experiences due to COVID-19, I am able to relate to Odysseus from The Odyssey. Odysseus finds himself trapped at sea after fighting for years in the city of Troy. All Odysseus wants to do is make his way home to Ithaca to see his family, but it seems as though everyone and everything is preventing him from doing so. Gilgamesh from The Epic of Gilgamesh is another relatable character. After Gilgamesh loses his brother, Enkidu, in an epic battle, he goes to great lengths in an attempt to bring him back from the dead. His desperate attempts at bringing Enkidu home end unsuccessfully. Both characters, just like myself, experience a change in their lives that causes them to lose a sense of home: whether that be a feeling, a place, or a person.

The first giant roadblock of 2020 arose in March. Spring break preparation was exciting for my family; we decided to plan a last-minute vacation. Not only did these plans come to a screeching halt, but so did my plans for the rest of the school year. COVID-19 had officially entered the scene. I was stripped of my freshman year of college, and so were thousands of others. I think I speak for all of us when I say, I was devastated. I felt as though I was robbed of my most prized possession; life felt anything but fair. Not only was I upset for myself, but I was upset for everyone else who was robbed of something due to the pandemic as well. I felt completely helpless. Odysseus would easily relate to me in feeling helpless; throughout his journey home, the gods made several efforts to interfere with his passage. For example, despite Odysseus’ efforts to convince Zeus to let him escape the Cyclops’ island safely, Zeus would not oblige. “But my sacrifices failed to move the god: Zeus was still obsessed with plans to destroy my entire oar swept fleet and loyal crew of comrades” (Fagles, 229). Since Zeus had been called by his brother Poseidon to prevent Odysseus from reaching home, there was nothing Odysseus could do or say to change his mind. His fate at this moment is completely controlled by Zeus. Odysseus is helpless against the gods, just as we are currently helpless against the Coronavirus.

By summertime 2020, I was expecting the world to be back to normal. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Missing out on several summer traditions, and not being able to do a thing about it brought on an intense feeling of anger. It was maddening to be cooped up for so long while watching my friends continue to live their lives normally. It was beyond frustrating to follow the safety regulations so intently and have none of that matter because of those who refused to participate in practicing public safety. My frustration with the people around me due to their selfish attitudes is similar to Odysseus’ frustration with the suitors due to their selfish pursuits of Penelope. We can see Odysseus’ frustration in his words, “You dogs! You never imagined I’d return from Troy — so cocksure that you bled my house to death, ravished my serving-women — wooed my wife behind my back while I was still alive! No fear of the gods who rule the skies up there, no fear that men’s revenge might arrive someday — now all your necks are in the noose — your doom is sealed” (Fagles, 440). Odysseus gives this threatening speech to the suitors immediately before he brutally murders them for their persistent greediness toward Penelope and lack of respect for Odysseus. Now personally, I would never consider taking my frustration with others out in such a brutal way, but I do understand why Odysseus is angered by the suitors’ constant acts of disrespect.

I wouldn’t usually consider myself to be a very lucky person, but in this case, I was very lucky compared to the general population. My family was not hit too hard by the pandemic: we were not economically impacted, and we haven’t lost anyone due to the virus. I feel so deeply for anyone who experienced these losses. Quarantining at home with my family, my dog, and my few close friends seemed like paradise compared to quarantining in my tiny apartment with my roommate. It is tough to constantly prioritize safety over human contact. I feel lonelier than I have ever felt before. I relate my own feelings of luck and loneliness to those of Odysseus’. Odysseus ends up traveling alone after his crew disgraces Lord Helios’ cattle. He is lucky enough to have his life spared by Poseidon since he did not kill any of the sacred cattle. Odysseus experiences a very lonely moment immediately after his crew and his ships have been destroyed; he is depicted floating alone on the remains of one of his ships. Although Odysseus is lucky to be alive, while the rest of his shipmates suffered a fatal consequence, he does not feel lucky in this moment of loneliness.

Living in a global pandemic brings on a lot of responsibilities. Everyone carries the potential to infect others; that kind of power over other lives has caused me to make some tough decisions. These decisions aren’t easy to make, but they are essential to a positive outcome. Odysseus demonstrates his ability to make tough decisions in The Odyssey. When Odysseus finally arrives home in Ithaca, he conceals his identity from his staff and even his wife, Penelope. This was not an easy task for Odysseus; we can see just how daunting this task becomes when Odysseus converses with Penelope. Odysseus, disguised as a beggar, has a meaningful conversation with Penelope, which leaves Penelope in tears as she longs for her husband. Odysseus chose to keep his identity a secret even though it meant tricking his wife and causing her more pain. He made that tough decision so that he could overpower the suitors and take back his home and his family. Odysseus made a temporarily difficult decision to ensure an overall positive outcome. Both Odysseus and I have been put in situations where we are forced to make unpleasant decisions in order to protect those we care about.

At this point in 2020, it is becoming increasingly hard to keep fighting. The pandemic is wearing us down to a point where continuing to fight seems impossible. COVID cases are at an all-time worst, yet businesses remain open, people still refuse to wear masks, and there is little to no practice of social distancing. It is exhausting to keep fighting for something that isn’t tangible. Gilgamesh demonstrates his exhaustion after fighting to bring Enkidu back to life. He visits the only mortal who has become deified, Utnapishtim and begs for a cure to death. Utnapishtim tells Gilgamesh that he may prevail against death if he can conquer sleep: he must stay awake for seven days. If Gilgamesh completes this task, he will be granted his wish. “So, Gilgamesh sat down against a wall to begin the test. The moment he sat down, sleep swirled over him, like a fog” (Mitchell, 191). Although eternal life was the one thing Gilgamesh wanted more than anything, he couldn’t keep himself awake to get it. Gilgamesh was so exhausted from all of his journeys that he was unable to avoid sleeping. Both Gilgamesh and the world of today are tired of constantly fighting, I just hope the world is able to prevail just as Gilgamesh does after his sleeping incident.

Before the year 2020, I thought we were medically advanced enough that nothing could touch us. I foolishly believed that humans were no longer victims of disease, or at least not in the United States. We felt almost untouchable, unstoppable. However, I could not have been more off. We are still human. We can still get sick. We still die. We are not invincible. This aligns with Gilgamesh’s attitude at the beginning of The Epic of Gilgamesh; Gilgamesh believes he is too great, too powerful. In fact, the opening line of the story begins, “Surpassing all kings, powerful and tall beyond all others, violent, splendid, a wild bull of man, unvanquished leader, hero in the front lines, beloved by his soldiers — fortress they call him, protector of the people, raging flood that destroys all defenses — two-thirds divine and one-third human…” (Mitchell, 71). Gilgamesh, however very powerful, is not invincible. We soon learn that Enkidu is a match for Gilgamesh, and later learn that Gilgamesh is not a match for death. Gilgamesh and I both learned the hard way that we are not invincible.

There is a glimmer of hope in the near future for those of using living through this pandemic. Scientists have been working nonstop to develop a vaccination, that will help reduce the number of COVID cases and hopefully prevent death due to the virus. The vaccination is so close to being released, but it’s not quite here yet. This reminds me of how Gilgamesh is so close to obtaining eternal life, but he can’t quite reach it. Gilgamesh finally receives the plant of life. He foolishly sets it down while he baths in a pond of cool water. A snake seizes this opportunity to snatch the plant from Gilgamesh. By the time Gilgamesh realizes what had happened, it was too late. Both Gilgamesh and I are so close to receiving the cure we desire, but we can’t quite obtain it.

We, meaning the entire world myself included, have taken for granted the wonderful lives we lived before COVID took over. Personally, I had a great life: lots of good friends, a wonderful family, and an endless amount of energy. It wasn’t until the pandemic took many important aspects of my life away that I truly appreciated how blessed I was before. This is similar to Gilgamesh’s appreciation of Enkidu. Upon first meeting Enkidu, the brothers battled. They soon became the best of friends: they went on adventures together, kept one another safe, and gave each other a sense of family and belonging. Gilgamesh did not realize just how much he loved Enkidu until he was gone. Once Enkidu passed on, Gilgamesh was able to understand just how blessed he was to have Enkidu in his life and pursued any means of bringing him back. Gilgamesh and I both lived amazing lives with people we cared about, but we took them for granted. We didn’t appreciate just how lucky we were until we were stripped of our loved ones.

Overall, Odysseus and Gilgamesh proved to be very relatable characters. Odysseus, Gilgamesh, and I all know how it feels to fight so hard to return to our own sense of home. That leads us to the present. No end to the pandemic in sight. Nothing to do but keep on going through the motions and hope for a cure. Overall, I am grateful to have gained some precious moments with those very close to me. I feel as though I am much more appreciative of the gift of life, and I can’t wait to start living mine again.