The F***ing Internet of Things
I recently bought a relatively small, but comfortable home in the tony Hamptons enclave of Water Mill. Much to my delight, the home came equipped with a very sophisticated (and pricey) Crestron system that controlled the A/V and HVAC systems throughout. It even had its own iOS app (at $99) to allow remote access.
Our home’s previous owner was kind enough to provide a list of all the local contractors he’s used over the years. After several service calls from plumbers, electricians and pool maintenance people, I soon realized that I clearly was in the wrong profession. Not only were they doing us a favor for simply showing up, we rarely escaped with an invoice under $500.
Nowhere was this more true than with the local Crestron-authorized “dealer” from a company called Sensoryphile. The company’s Mercedes-Benz service truck probably should have tipped us off. Every conversation and email exchange I had with the firm’s prickly owner was stressful, as if running my own business didn’t produce enough agita.
I soon learned that I had very few options in terms of service providers. The design of the Crestron system is quite complex, i.e., each system is programmed to the individual specs of the dealer and the dealer is the only one with the keys.
For my deep-pocketed and tech-luddite neighbors, this fact probably mattered little. If you have a $10-million dollar home, what’s tens of thousands of dollars? For us, however, it mattered.
Conversely, for the small group of local Crestron dealers, it’s a virtual bonanza. Their algorithm was simple:
Clueless + rich homeowners = very lucrative service contracts + no questions asked.
Back to Sensoryphile. When my iOS app stopped working after I upgraded the wireless router, a tech was finally assigned to visit my home. He determined that the free router I secured from my cable/ISP provider did not have the ability to port to the app. I had to purchase and install a different router.
I did so in April and called Sensoryphile to try to schedule an appointment. The owner wrote: “Our Fridays in May are booked through Memorial Day. What other day’s [sic] work?” I finally got one...around his availability on a Thursday. (Bonanza, remember?)
The second technician arrived and made a different diagnosis:
“The Crestron unit has a bad ethernet port and will need repair and temp replacement. The system is seven years old and this kind of thing happens.”
Huh? What about the idea of simply swapping out the router? I soon heard from Sensoryphile’s owner who offered this solution:
“My recommendation is the purchase [sic] a new network card for the processor. They are $900.00 plus installation and configuration.”
I decided to call the manufacturer directly. They were responsive, sympathetic, and doubtful that the network card had failed. I then called another local Crestron dealer to get one more opinion. Apparently, that dealer decided to share our conversation with the owner of Sensoryphile who promptly sent me this email:
“I understand you are looking for a new Crestron installer. Please consider this email our company’s resignation from service of your home. Best of luck in your search…Invoice currently due attached. Please remit payment at this time.”
Since Sensoryphile programmed my system, its owner clearly knew just how compromised this sudden separation would leave me. What an asshole! What’s more, when I contacted yet another authorized service provider as a potential replacement, he told me he “would not take me on as a client since his firm did not install the original system.” Groan.
I remitted payment to Sensoryphile, even though the problem remained unresolved. I then called Crestron, which, to its considerable credit, offered to send its own tech at no charge for the three-hour trip to my home. More on that in a sec.
A few days later, I was having dinner with some local friends and shared my sordid tale. My pal said he too had a Crestron system whose service provider told him that the system was “seven years old” and needed a major overhaul. It would cost thousands of dollars. The dealer? Sensoryphile.
The Crestron technician arrived on time and at a time that was mutually convenient. He soon deduced that I did not need a new $1000+ network card. The connectivity problem was a result of an ethernet cord that the Sensoryphile technician had left unplugged.
Crestron, you’re the hero here. Even so, you may want to remind some of your dealers that the customer is always king. With the Internet of things proliferating (i.e., Nest, Sonos, Apple TV…), the quality of both your product and CRM will be increasingly vital for your future success and survival.
P.S. Crestron just emailed me to say they spoke with two local dealers who’d be happy to chat with me about my system.” Nice.
