Genesis

“Are you the creepy guy in the window?!” I flirtatiously texted.

“D” had told me this was one of the few places in Honolulu that people would ACTUALLY dress up for, so I took him up on the offer. My dress was white and covered with bright red tropical flowers — a wrap dress with short sleeves that hugged my figure perfectly. I bought it years ago at H&M, and for some reason I dragged it with me across the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii.

I was filled with a nervous excitement. No matter how many first dates I go on—and no matter how much I think I’m not invested in the outcome—I always have a strange apprehension about meeting a guy for the first time. The same questions run through my head: Will I get there too early, too late? Will I be able to recognize him? Will he look like his picture? Will he be INTERESTING? Maybe this is a waste of time, I thought. But better than spending the night alone.

I looked down at my iPhone — no response yet. I don’t think my “flirtatious sarcasm” came through the way I intended. Hmm, better wait a couple more minutes….

I had just walked about a mile in my bright red, shiny Jessica Simpson heels. I had bought them for a “bachelorette superhero” party a year prior, and the were just ridiculous enough. And they matched my dress perfectly… but like any good perfectly-matching shoe they were only good for limited mileage. I cringed at the thought of walking back. My feet hurt and my ankles felt weak: I am not the type of girl that practices walking in high heels much, and I was clearly unconditioned for the experience. But I am the type that’s always ready for a challenge.

My phone dinged. Yes. The guy in the window texted back.

Several glasses of wine and several hours later…. This guy was INTERESTING. We talked about travel, about relationships, about life. We went for a walk around the neighborhood. Paradise at night; the sky was clear and full of stars. The air was warm and salty. Whips of plumeria rode the wind as the Honolulu nightlife bustled through the streets.

At some point he told me he was polyamorous. I understood the concept in theory, but had never heard the term before. I told him that I was just getting out of an open relationship, one that had been full of lies and deceit. I had tried to end it several times — but when relationship lines are not clearly defined, it’s hard to completely sever the connection. Now, with an ocean between us, I felt like I could actually move on. I wasn’t sure if I wanted another open relationship, but at this stage it was a moot point. I barely knew this guy!

I had come to Hawaii to recharge and to experience something new… I just wasn’t sure what that looked like yet. I only planned on staying for 5 months and I wanted someone to experience this place with, but I swore I would never let myself be hurt like that again. For now I was content to see where things went. I liked him and definitely wanted to see him again.

We walked until I had to swallow my pride and ask to sit on a bench. Yup….my shoe mileage ran out. My ankles were about ready to flop over and my calves were sore. I shamefully asked for a ride home, and D happily obliged.

And so the months went by. The air, the sun, the moon…it healed and opened my heart. With D, I lived in a world filled with magic and possibilities.