(on a flight from New York to San Diego)
My heart shatters into tiny fragments…
At the sight of teardrops
Bubbling into life,
Clouding the innocent sparkle,
In my dear friend’s eyes.
At the sight of the deep frown,
Suddenly glazing over a familiar smile,
Driven out of its serene home,
On that tender and pure visage.
At the voice of the silent ache,
Muffled and gagged for so long,
Forgotten by time itself,
Finally crackling with sound.
At the sight of the dark shadow,
Lurking in the hidden closets of the soul,
Scheming… and waiting for its time,
At long last, escaping into the light.
As I gather the scattered pieces of my heart,
I find myself exposed to the elements…
Thunderstorms so loud,
I am rendered incapable of remembering
What anything else sounds like.
I thought I knew how it felt,
To be caught in a downpour,
Until I met the sky without a sieve.
Hurricanes so mighty,
Waves lashing relentlessly,
Pummeling me from all sides,
Making sure there is nobody left
To ask questions…
To look for answers.
The earth quaking, cracking, and splitting,
Sweeping everything from underneath my feet,
Swallowing me whole with its gaping mouth,
Chewing, and spitting out,
Nothing but an empty shell.
Spewing out unbearable molten heat,
Roaring and scorching,
Dissolving flesh and bone in one swoop,
Transforming a heap of ash and rising smoke
Into a formless phoenix.
At the mercy of Shiva’s fury,
I can’t help but notice…
I am sheltered by Vishnu’s blanket.
With protection that a diamond suit couldn’t offer,
Softness and warmth beyond the most exquisite Alpaca wool;
Loosely wrapped around me,
Comfortingly firm in its embrace,
I realize I am fully alive through knowing
That my dear friend is me…
And I am her.
Silent reacquaintance with the wholeness of my heart…
I discover the shattered pieces,
Were never fragments to begin with,
But each one complete, on its own.
Seemingly immersed in a game of hide and seek,
Engaged in endless expeditions searching for playmates,
It gives them all kinds of names…
Brother, sister, mother, father,
Grandpa, grandma, aunty, uncle,
Child, lover, husband, wife,
Then it delights in the glory
Of wiping away the tears,
Replacing a frown with a smile,
Healing an aching heart,
Turning the voice of sorrow into song,
Cleaning out cobwebs from the dark closet,
Convincing the shadow to find a new home;
The whole time calling itself…