Don’t talk about how smart you are, especially in your dating profile.

I’d like to tell you a story about a dating profile I saw recently.

This woman is beautiful and sexy, but her profile reads like a narcissist’s ode to her own brilliance. Here are some particularly saucy bits:

I’m a misanthropic fashionista with a penchant for Socratic irony.

If you don’t know how to lead with your intellect, I’m not going to waste my time or yours.

I’m totally libidinous and probably a little sexually demented.

I’m honest to a fault and incessantly no drama.

I’m really good at nihilism, absurdism, sarcasm, anglophilism, sexism, materialism, individualism, pyrrhonism, and libertarianism.

Read: I generally choose non-fiction, theoretical/academic works over fiction. I enjoy the minds of Kafka, Gurnell, Dostoevsky, Strauss, and of course, my favorite “existentialist” Kierkegaard. Camus is pretty decent. Sartre makes my heart swell. Locke is a powerhouse. And I despise Charles Cooley.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my love for Oscar Wilde, but i’m reticent to do so — as apparently it’s hipsteresque. All in all, I love the written word…whatever the medium.

I like anything with really intelligent writing, such as Rick and Morty

I don’t have to explain the appeal of Alex DeLarge and his drippingly sexy and fractured argot.

Profiles like this are really off-putting because they make the person sound like she is going to challenge a man’s knowledge at every turn just to make herself feel superior. That kind of experience is obnoxious and frustrating. It’s ok to say that you find intelligence attractive in men, but don’t go to such an extreme.

I’ve found that in every case, when a person leads by talking about how smart she or she is, they are most often trying to compensate for an insecurity, and they are actually well below average. Be nice, don’t mention intelligence, and don’t brag, especially about areas where you could actually use improvement.