5 Unexpected Lessons You Can Take Away from College
The classroom wasn’t the only educator.
The value of institutionalized learning is constantly debated these days. While college should be a personal decision, in some households higher education wasn’t optional. Other students knew they wanted to attend university but didn’t know what their professional goals were, much less how to incorporate their degree into the mix. With such a high price tag on a piece of paper, was getting a college degree worth the investment?
At first glance it seems like the purpose of college is to study a passion or interest to gain career opportunities. With only 27% of graduates working in the career field related to their major, is that degree failing to live up to expectations? Maybe not. The college experience presented students with the opportunity to encounter challenges that play a role in future success based on what was learned from them. While it doesn’t seem obvious now, previously encountering these 5 challenges throughout your college career can provide growth and maturity to better leverage professional skills in the future.
Personality Differences
Your childhood plays a key part in developing who you are, but you don’t really see that until you go somewhere different. I attended one of the most diverse universities in the nation and it wasn’t until post-grad at a workshop that someone gave me a clear understanding of how to manage different personalities in the workplace.
We’ve all been exposed to different personalities before our time at university. Even then, those personalities evolve as we mature and previous approaches are no longer viable. Often times, we don’t realize it until we’re around people we usually wouldn’t choose surround ourselves with. I encourage you to spend time looking for personalities that don’t match yours. You’ll find areas where you can grow and succeed, but most importantly you’ll have the opportunity to examine how your personality impacts your worldview.
You can gain an understanding of which personalities aren’t beneficial to your development or are opportunities to reexamine your interactions with people and the world around you. It’s a messy process, so don’t dive in head first or put yourself in unhealthy situations for the sake of experimentation. Just take time to make sure you fail forward and learn from the different perspectives.
Communication Styles
Relating to the previous topic, those personalities lean into communication styles. Becoming more aware of this is a game changer. There are multiple methods to describe communication styles these days. Yes, you can observe different personalities from a distance but, if you don’t know how to make the best of them the results can be detrimental. By examining these preferences you can understand how you present yourself to others and what motivates others in how they present themselves to you. Also, communication is the #2 most-valued skill among professionals, but what use is being a “good communicator” if no one can understand you, or you don’t know how to understand someone else?
As you continue to expand your network and evolve your social cirlces, remember that some people will listen to understand, while others will merely wait for their chance to reply. Make sure you thoroughly examine what a person’s motivation is when you are having a conversation with them. If they completely understand where you are coming from, be grateful for them. If they are trying to understand, but can’t meet you where you would like, do your best to be patient with them. If they simply argue to win, don’t waste your time with them.
Unconscious Bias
This topic is tricky, because, by its very nature, you’re not aware of it. Unconscious bias is something we have to actively work against developing. It can be based on a misinterpreted behavior or mannerism that we make judgements on because of background or past experience. Here is a way to test unconscious bias:
What do you think of when you hear or see the following?
- A person with obvious signs of wealth.
- Someone who doesn’t share your political views.
- An outspoken co-worker vs. one who prefers to be in the background.
- An individual with an unfamiliar accent.
- A sports fan in an opposing team’s jersey.
- People who come from a similar background to you vs. those with a less familiar one.
- A grocery shopper wearing pajamas outside of the house.
- A woman who dresses more masculine.
- An older job applicant.
- Someone who expresses themselves more emotionally or logically than you would.
When you read these prompts, did you start assigning value to the person? Were you making judgements based on previous experience? If you had a 30 minute conversation, do you think those inferences be spot on, or would they be ground in assumption?
Be careful, sometimes logic can lead to assumption because you begin to fill in the blanks for someone else’s side of the story. If we act on this mindset, we can contribute to a self fufilling prophecy. Not only does this hurt your development, but it hurts the people around you. These behaviors are based on generalizations rather than understanding, so remember, you don’t know what you don’t know.
Boundaries
The picture above shows a couple waiting for a funicular (which is apparently a type of railway system). There are boundaries in two noticeable spots. The two people have to wait behind the yellow line for their safety but, they also respect each other’s personal boundaries. The space between them allows them both wait comfortably until they board, even as they hold hands.
After being exposed to so many things in college, you have begun to realize what you are and are not okay with. It may be difficult at first to set those boundaries, and sometimes even harder to reinforce them, but the results will be worth it. If it helps, start small by picking a person that is the easiest to set boundaries with.
If it’s a close friend let them know by pulling them aside and having a conversation about your personal boundaries. Communicate to them where you’re coming from and reassure them that you are asking them to respect your boundaries while making a point to respect theirs. Make sure you give them the opportunity to give their thoughts and, if they have something to add, find a compromise that works for both of you.
The same would go for someone like a coworker or boss. The goal here is to highlight how boundaries impact your work, rather than simply mentioning personal preference. This will hopefully let the person know that your goal is the focus on the job, not just pick fights with your coworkers or management. You shouldn’t have to deal with undermining or personal attacks from other individuals either. Part of what makes someone successful professionally is that they bring productive bits of themselves to a professional environment.
If someone isn’t respecting your boundaries, remember it is a reflection of them and their struggles that they are still working through, not you. It is important to remember that being honest is way better than faking a smile for others’ enjoyment. Circumstances are always changing. If you’re not the best at setting boundaries, you’ll become better. If it’s hard to communicate those boundaries, you’ll become graceful. If you never exercise those boundaries, you’ll become frustrated.
Figuring Out The Important Stuff
What really matters in life, is looking back and saying I made it the best life for myself, while positively impacting the people around me. It doesn’t mean you’ll please everyone, and it doesn’t mean you’ll be proud of every decision you make. College gave you an experimental environment to learn how to choose who and what you want to surround yourself with. It was an opportunity to discover things you want to unlearn, like bad habits or misperceived notions, while giving you a chance to explore things you could never imagine.
If you are about to graduate or are a young professional, use this as a reflection period to set yourself up for the next chapter. Your life is just getting started. Yes, graduating or adapting to the workforce is quite the transition, but it is just the beginning!
