How to word unreasonable behaviour allegations in a divorce petition

This article was originally published on 20 April 2021 and updated on 31 January 2022.

The law on applying for a divorce has changed and the procedure in this article will only apply to cases where the application was started before 6 April 2022.

There is only one ground to apply for a divorce and that is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down.

In order to prove that the marriage has irretrievably broken down the person applying for the divorce (the petitioner) must be able to show that one of five facts apply. These are:

a) adultery

b) unreasonable behaviour

c) desertion

d) 2 years separation with consent

e) 5 years separation

Whilst the option of a “no fault divorce” will soon be available, possibly by autumn 2021, if a client wants to apply for a divorce now they need to be able to prove one of the above 5 facts.

Most divorces are based on unreasonable behaviour because adultery is difficult to prove and the couple may not have been separated long enough to rely on the other options.

However, even when a divorce is based on unreasonable behaviour it is still possible to achieve a divorce in an amicable way.

Where appropriate, it is best for the client to try and discuss the potential divorce and proposed behaviour allegations with the other person (the respondent) to try and agree what will be said about them in the divorce petition. Sometimes it is useful to send them a draft of the proposed wording of allegations so that they can suggest any amendments or re-wording before it is sent to the court. Obviously if there has been violence then this would not be an appropriate step.

When helping your client word the examples of unreasonable behaviour it’s useful to know that whilst this is subjective, i.e. it is what your client finds unreasonable, it also needs to be something a reasonably minded person would also find unreasonable, as ultimately the judge needs to be satisfied that the behaviour complained of is unreasonable.

If there has been violence during the marriage then that alone is sufficient to demonstrate unreasonable behaviour. However, the examples don’t have to be of extreme violence or similar conduct but could be a combination of things like not helping with household chores or childcare, not socialising together and not showing love or affection. Usually 4 to 6 examples are sufficient and it is not necessary to go into too much detail. Simply stating the issue and how it made the client feel should be enough to demonstrate why it is unreasonable to expect the client to live with their spouse.

It’s also a good idea to focus on recent events rather than historical ones because if a client puts in something which happened many years ago then this can raise questions about whether the client really found the behaviour unreasonable or not, considering they continued living with the respondent. Generally, the client should not have lived with their spouse for more than 6 months since the last incident of behaviour occurred. If the behaviour is ongoing and they are still living together in the same house then that is fine as long as they consider themselves to be separated, for example, they are not cooking or cleaning for each other and do not have sexual relations with each other.

Below are some examples of unreasonable behaviour allegations and how they could be worded in a divorce petition:

1. The Respondent does not show him/her any affection and this lack of intimacy and sexual intercourse makes him/her feel unloved and unwanted.
2. The Respondent does not spend any time with the Petitioner, choosing instead to socialise with his/her own friends. This makes the Petitioner feel isolated and unwanted.
3. The Respondent does not help the Petitioner with childcare or household chores which makes him/her feel deflated.
4. The Respondent does not approve of the Petitioner spending time with his/her own family which makes him/her feel isolated.
5. The Respondent is often verbally abusive towards the Petitioner which makes him/her feel unloved and upset.
6. The Respondent has recently started to consume excessive amounts of alcohol which the Petitioner finds unacceptable.
7. The Respondent has incurred large debts which s/he agreed to deal with and address his/her spending. However, the Respondent has continued to fall into further debt, which makes the Petitioner feel very worried.
8. The Respondent regularly spends hours on his/her phone without speaking to the Petitioner. This makes the Petitioner feel lonely and unwanted. The Petitioner has asked the Respondent to spend more time together, however, s/he continues to spend hours on his/her phone.
9. The Respondent is regularly verbally abusive towards the Petitioner which s/he finds belittling and the respondent has continued in this abuse despite being told how it makes the Petitioner feel.
10. The Respondent has been physically abusive towards the Petitioner causing bruising and injury to her arm which left her feeling scared for her safety.

Remember you can register a client on the CourtNav service and help them complete the divorce petition online which will then be reviewed by a solicitor at no cost.

Varinder Bhandal is a Family Law Expert in the Expert Advice Team at Citizens Advice.

The information in this article is correct as of the date of publication. Unfortunately, we are unable to respond to comments left on the medium site — please contact expertadvicesupport@citizensadvice.org.uk if you wish to give feedback on an article.