Ring Ring Go Away…
…come again another day (aka taking time away from my cell phone)
Or perhaps, buzz buzz, go away.
Several weeks ago, my wrists and metacarpals started complaining a little bit when I opened doors or typed up blog posts.
“You have to start typing with better posture. Also, kill the phone use,” scolded my doctor.
Like most of us, I’m tethered to my phone. For probably 1 hour a day, cumulatively, my phone is in my hand. 4 hours a day, my phone is in my direct line of sight, and for 10 hours a day, my phone is within a single reach (and within earshot, even on vibrate). 24 hours a day, I am in the same room as my phone.
That’s a lot of proximity. If my phone was a person, most of us would consider this a toxic, possessive relationship. Unclear who the victim is here.
For me, at least, and I suspect for many others, the weight of my phone when I’m holding it in my palm forces my wrist into a position that strains my wrist and my lower forearm. Gripping a phone while texting with one hand also causes tension and pain in the abductor that runs along your thumb. Apparently, it’s not just me: rates of arthritis related to cellphone use are going up. My painfully excessive phone use was affecting the rest of my life, from schoolwork that required typing (I’m a computer science major and an English minor), to exercises that required holding weights (I usually workout 1–2 times a week).
Believe it or not, it’s possible to survive a week without a smartphone. The first two days looked about like this:
Every twenty minutes or so, I would instinctively reach for my phone. What if one of my friends or family had an emergency? What if I didn’t see the email for a recruiting opportunity for my dream job (that one that I don’t know about yet)? What if, heaven forbid, I missed the group chat poll for what kind of snacks to buy from Hmart? Oh, the horror.
Each time I stopped myself before I unlocked my phone, I almost felt slightly embarrassed. What was I doing? I had no task in mind. Surely, I’m a little more intentional and rational than that.
By the end of the first day, I had stashed my phone in a pocket behind three sets of zippers. In my backpack, in a compartment, in the extra secure pocket inside that. The one usually reserved for spare keys or contraband.
However, several days in, I felt remarkably comfortable without a phone. It only took a couple of days to lose the bored-phone-reach habit. I wouldn’t say I lost much utility from my phone. Being significantly less attached to my phone didn’t hinder me from calling anyone when I needed to. I checked my phone once in the morning, when I turn off my alarm, a couple of times mid-day, and once at night. I also checked my messages/emails on my laptop morning, noon, and night. So far, none of the people I regularly communicate with have indicated that I have had a noticeably longer response time.
What I have gained, is a lot more peace of mind. Yesterday, I had set aside three hours to analyze some readings and write up a prep sheet. I turned my laptop on at 4:15. I was done by 5:45. Not only do I get work done faster, I’ve been much more present with the people around me. I’ve caught up with people while I’m waiting for the bus or waiting for class to start, or had meals with people I’ve run into in dining halls, even if I haven’t seen them in months and I think it’s going to be really awkward. (Having a meal where two people are talking to each other is far less awkward than accidentally catching each other’s eyes, clearly recognizing each other, and pretending to suddenly be very engaged in this really insightful article you’re reading on your upside down phone.)
Over the last week, I’ve had twelve real conversations, the kind that go beyond the ‘how are you’s, the ones that make you feel welcome and at home or keep you thinking about a new topic for hours, mostly with friends I haven’t seen in awhile (haha or friends I promised to grab a meal with months ago). Unbelievably, they’ve managed to sneak into the nooks and crannies of my schedule, warming up some pretty cloudy days. It’s remarkable how easy it was to fit in social time or community time when it doesn’t have to be scheduled and when everyone isn’t on their phones. The time that I used to spend checking up on friends online has seamlessly shifted to time I spend with my friends in person. The latter is much more warm and fulfilling.
On the note of online social networks, it appears that as the world online has become more extensively connected, the more disconnected we have become from those physically around us. It completely makes sense that when we don’t invest time and good will into our communities, we don’t build bridges of trust in our everyday lives. That means when push comes to shove, and a controversial issue blows through a community, we don’t have the understanding and tolerance to absorb them. Sound familiar?
*True of more than just humor.
What exactly does my phone do to command so much attention? If I’m honest with myself, most of the time I spend on my phone is on Facebook, which is closely followed by my mail app and Facebook messenger. Doesn’t matter if I unlock my phone to check the weather or to call someone, inevitably, I wind up spending more time checking for non-existent updates. Worst of all, it’s so instinctive that it’s a reflex to open Facebook (scroll right, bottom right corner).
For me, personally, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stick to using my smartphone as a dumb phone if I didn’t have a game plan for whenever I got the itch to message someone or distract myself. Here’s a breakdown of what I spend the most phone time on, and the alternatives I swapped in for this week:
Facebook:
Facebook is addicting. Behind Facebook are thousands of engineers who are very very good at making you love Facebook. I get it, it’s hard to quit. If I pause to think about it though, it’s not generating a ton of value for me, so I was pretty okay without an alternative to checking Facebook. By value, I mean either utility, happiness, or something else I gain from using Facebook. I’m not really enjoying the time I spend on Facebook.
Texting:
Around ~60% of my daily communication happens through text (including other messaging apps). This was pretty hard to get around, but nine times out of ten, it can wait. Most people call if it’s urgent. (Interestingly enough, I, and most of my peers, spend very little time calling on our phones.) I didn’t want to put my phone on do not disturb, since I wanted to be able to hear any calls coming in. However, just convincing myself that I didn’t need to respond immediately made it much easier for me to leave my phone out of sight. Instead of checking my phone every time it buzzes, I check my phone once every several hours and deal with the urgent messages all at once (the less urgent messages I usually save for post-lunch or post-dinner). Also, a good 40% of those texts are the result of bad planning. Looking at my texts over the past month, that’s how frequently I texted something along the lines of “here,” or “where are we meeting again?” or “will be there in 10, sry I’m late”.
I came up with a three pronged strategy for this one:
- Figure out plans in advance (eliminates the need to text).
- Call in response (replaces texting).
- Don’t respond immediately (delays messaging until I’m on a computer).
I also still sent ~20 texts a day, but that’s way easier on my thumbs than the ~200 some texts/messages I was sending daily.
Mail:
Email tends to be where I get most of my important or useful messages. However, anything sent on email can wait. I’m on my computer often enough that I can check my email once every six hours. Pro-hack: If you can’t keep yourself from checking your email, use something like Baydin’s pause extension for Gmail while you’re off your computer.
Calendar:
I rely on my calendar immensely. As a student, my schedule changes daily, so I often check my calendar on my phone to see where my next meeting or section is. I wasn’t sure how to deal with this use case, but I figured I’d check my calendar once at the start of the day and see how far that got me.
Alarm/Weather:
Since both of these I basically check once a day, this isn’t a big issue.
Music:
The majority of time I’m listening to music, I’m not actually looking at my phone, so this also doesn’t seem like a significant issue.
Time Checks:
Wear a watch.
As much as technology has transformed our lives for the better, sometimes stepping away can clear your head. No number of dank memes or feel good kitten videos can give you that.
Note: A couple of weeks post this experiment, now, as I’m editing this piece, some final thoughts. It actually has been fairly easy to continue minimizing my phone use. Once I got used to how social interactions feel without a phone in hand and figured out other interesting things to occupy the random waiting times in between things, I just wouldn’t take scrolling through Facebook or texting other people over talking to my actual friends, in person, in front of me, or listening to an audiobook while taking a quick walk. It’s like being more connected to Facebook friends or scenic Instagram views, except IRL. Fancy that.
(And yes, my wrist is feeling great.)
If you thought this article was interesting/inspiring/improved your day, follow us on Medium or other social media to make sure you don’t miss our next posts! Welcome to Advo, just a little place on the internet where a group of millennials are trying to figure it out, and sharing any advice or questions or fears we discover on the way. Join us for the ride!
A couple more soundbites on mindfulness + mental/physical health:
