Why You Shouldn’t Quit Your Job and Move 6,794.35 Miles from Home
My best friend has the word “YES” inked on her left shoulder, in capital letters above her heart.
Throughout college, “I have this crazy idea…” was always breathlessly followed by an overeager, “YES.” “YES” meant — whatever you’re thinking, I’m here for it, I’m here with you, so let’s figure out how to get you there.
As “YES” became our hello, we found that the friends who approached us with their dreams were seeking just one thing — permission to give themselves permission to pursue their *crazy* dreams.
I write this as I sit 6,794.35 miles from home in pursuit of my own crazy dream. The irony of my writing this essay is not lost on me. But as more friends approach me with their plans to start over halfway across the world, I want to share what I’ve gathered about quitting your life in pursuit of Passion.
I met up with an old friend in Tokyo the other day at a teahouse nestled in flowers, a place that resembles a cafe I once stumbled upon in my dreams. Softened by the roses that danced above us, we caught up on the past three years of our lives, of the shit we thought we would have gotten together by 25. A few minutes into the conversation, she pauses to ask, “Does anyone actually live their ‘dream job’?”
I believe it is possible to love what you do, and I wish this love on everyone, but I believe the pursuit of Passion can be limiting and harmful. Upon graduating from the question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” I had “follow your Passion” drilled into my heart. What should have been liberating was instead daunting. All I knew was that I needed to find this elusive thing called “Passion.” But what if I didn’t? And even worse, what if I did? If I found Passion and wasn’t following it, was I failing myself?
On one hand, I had many passions and could not decide which one deserved to be The One with the Capital P. On the other — I felt the Capital P was a luxury, unthinkable for a child born of Korean immigrants whom understandably favored stability over the more foreign, Passion. I believed I had ladders to climb before I could be afforded the luxury, and so I entrusted Passion to my future children, perhaps they could be so free.
When I first launched GoingTowardsHeartbreak, that same friend told me that her heart broke for the dream she buried. At 21, she was a classically trained ballerina with what looked to be one final sprint left in her career; letting go now meant letting go forever. She ultimately chose to lay her pointe shoes to rest to pursue a bachelor’s degree. Yume now works a 9-to-5, matching clients to their “dream job.”
Before Yume gets up to leave, she says playfully, “I thought I had buried my dreams, but they sprouted up again like new flowers.” I ask her what she means by that, and she tells me that she has taken up ballet again, attending weekly classes after her 9-to-5, classes she can now afford with her job. I look at her again, and this time, I feel free.
Yes, say YES, but don’t feel you need to quit your job and move 6,794.35 miles from home to follow your Passion. Saying YES means growing your Passion, not letting it lead your life.
I moved to Seoul after a year of growing and then fighting the whispers that told me to leave. I loved the community I left, and the job that I had allowed me to do what I love during the day and focus my heart on GoingTowardsHeartbreak post-5pm. But I began to see a glimpse of my ceiling and at 24 years old, I didn’t want to be where I felt I could anticipate what the next few years of my life would look like.
Moving halfway across the world didn’t solve my problems or heal my anxiety; my anxiety has grown since coming to Seoul. I also cannot say that I am any happier or more fulfilled than Yume.
With that being said, I am learning about what happens when you dive headfirst into uncertainty. I find myself taking more risks here because I have already taken the biggest one by moving. And every so often, when the growing pains get the best of me, I run my mind and my heart over the stretch marks I’ve earned in these past few months, and I’m encouraged to keep growing.
Leave for yourself, not for Passion. There are many ways to do what you love that don’t require you to give up the life you lead now. Incorporate your Passion into your daily life. Take that dance class, start that podcast, enroll in culinary school now. But don’t give yourself up to follow one thing. A love that is honest will never demand all of you, and a “love” that does will never fulfill you.
Don’t follow your Passion; grow it where you’re rooted.
If you’re struggling with Passion and want to read more articles like this, hit the applause button!
I’ve joined a new publication, Advo — our goal is to provide candid, thoughtful, and practical guides for millennials. If you want to connect, I’d love to hear about your pursuit of Passion in the comments below!
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Looking to grow a Passion project? Check out Anthony’s piece:
