Focus

You know I’ve been thinking about the two shifts I worked at Walmart since I’ve had quite a bit of time off, especially with my two absences for two of my previous shifts before my most recent two shifts I attended, I’ve been thinking that even still after after attending those shifts, I still don’t feel much better nor feel like it’s benefiting my mental and emotional well-being as a whole! But the thing is I don’t know what to do about this!

When I made the choice to send a claim on Walmart Live Well that sent a notification to the managers at Walmart of my upcoming absences for my shifts which I selected for the claim, a couple or so hours later, I felt something amazing inside: I felt like myself a bit, I wasn’t held back, I felt little to no stress, anxiety or anger for a short bit before war began downstairs when my mom came home from work at 5pm last Tuesday!

I felt a relieve that I had taken control of with my life that my parents struggle or rather so refuse to understand the real proof and work to show for my reasons for making the choice I made earlier that day!

I have one more thing to add: sometime in middle or late February this year, my mental and emotional health started to decrease in positive results and I was somehow in some way aware of that, and so I just became patient to see what happened each day for a month. and then it became 2+ month and March 2nd, I had another post traumatic stress episode that night, then another March 3rd and well I can’t remember the others says exactly when I had other post traumatic stress episodes but I know I kept an eye out for my mental and emotional well-being!

And as time came and passed, both continued to get worse and even affected my work, behaviour and actions during my shifts at Walmart: both on cash and o the sales floor interacting with customers, associates/coworkers and I almost even committed time fraud but I didn’t succeed in doing so.

I’m glad I did but I knew then and I still know and believe now that I was not in a great mental and emotional state to be working that day which brought me to not think clearly and logically enough to hold back from even attempting to actually commit time fraud! I gotta say that throughout all this time, around sometime this month, I believed that I need a short term break from working at Walmart and focus my time, focus and attention on my mental and emotional well-being!