SURVIVAL OF THE CLEANEST
Hoard Nail Clippers, Not TP
Your long nails are a health hazard. And harder to clean than your backside.
As a young woman, I envied people with long beautiful nails. I’m not naturally blessed with strong nails, and I’m allergic to most of the concoctions required to create them artificially.
Now that I’ve got some years on me, my nails are finally getting stronger and longer.
This is not a good thing.
Not only because long nails are a productivity killer (I’m a 90wpm typist in short nails; I drop to 70wpm in slightly longer nails, and about 50wpm in nails that extend beyond my fingertips. I imagine if I had longer talons, it’d drop to 20wpm).
But because COVID-19.
Long nails are gross and dirty. The CDC agrees with me. All fingernails “harbor dirt and germs and … contribute to the spread of some infections, such as pinworms,” they say. But longer fingernails “harbor more dirt and bacteria than short nails, thus potentially contributing to the spread of infection.”
Despite my meticulous and frequent hand washing, when my nails get a bit longer than short, throughout the day the undersides begin to grow a bit gray, and start to collect discolored goop. And…
