Why I Can't Just "Believe Victims"
Even if it makes me less of a woman.
One point of contention I've always felt between Black people and modern feminism is the idea of simply believing victims. It's not that simple for us.
Recently, a white woman in the UK took her white employer to court for sexual harassment. She claimed that a series of exchanges amounted to sexual harassment. It seemed like a massive waste of court time because the allegations, as reported, are ridiculous.
I was discussing this with a friend who felt that the woman must have been a victim, and somehow, her story has been garbled by a patriarchal, rape-supportive system. The friend mentioned that a woman would never risk making such allegations unless she believed it as the conviction rates for any type of sexually inappropriate behaviour against women is so low. The ordeal for the victim is cruel.
I am not disputing the statistics or the awful way the Justice system treats victims. However, I also don’t believe every person who claims to be a victim just on their word alone.
I shouldn't have to explain that white people have a long history of false accusations against Black people. This isn't restricted to allegations of sexual violations, but false rape claims were prevalent. People have also lied about being robbed or just bullied by Black people. It still occurs today. Think of the birdwatching man in New York.
Black women are women, but we are also not white, so our experiences of the world are not aligned with those of white women. We have Black fathers, brothers, partners and/or sons. We have also lived their experiences alongside them. We've been affected by exaggerated or false allegations against our loved ones. We may have even experienced them ourselves. The Angry Black Woman trope is a real thing too.
Our experiences of racism have meant that we cannot lie to ourselves and pretend that allegations are always true. We know they are not. We know that even today, in 2023, white people will lie about the actions of a Black person if they find them obstructive in any way.
I’m half-white, so I also have grown up within a white family. I live in a white country. I know white people. Knowing white people means I know that this isn’t just a race thing. Especially in Britain, the racial hierarchy is entwined with the class system. It’s the effects of colonialism. My experiences have taught me that the same type of white person who makes fabricated allegations against a Black person will do it to anyone they feel is inferior and are dogged by the negative stereotypes of their demographic.
Consequently, we can’t just believe the reports of alleged victims. Racism and other types of inequality haven’t allowed us to have such liberty. We’ve seen when people with power, or in an attempt to gain power, have lied about something as serious as rape or other violent crime. We know people have been killed on the back of these allegations.
For me, at least, it isn’t a conscious choice. I don’t choose just to rubbish the claims of an alleged rape victim. It means that I do want to know more before I’m willing to cast judgment or, certainly, any reprimand. I’m looking to see if the story makes sense to me. That means speculating about the victim’s actions.
Feminism teaches us that needing to know more is a type of victim blaming. We should automatically believe Victims because they have no need to lie. Well, we know that isn’t true. Societal stigma and merely the desire to gain power is enough to deny your consensual association with a Black man or accuse a Black woman of bullying you in some way. We’ve seen this happen firsthand. We even write fiction based on the way the legal system has been used as a tool of white supremacy.
The fact that I can't just believe anyone who claims to be a victim has been weaponised against me more than once. It apparently means that I'm oblivious or ignorant to sexism, rather than more familiar with and affected by racial prejudice. It has even meant my womanhood has been questioned by white women who believe I must not be female if I don't automatically concede that all such allegations must be true.
That’s a true indication of white supremacy: if you don’t share the looks and values of cis white women, you lose your feminine identity. I don’t mind if a bunch of white women wants to think I am masculine or "a man" because I don’t automatically believe them when they claim victimhood. It’s preferable to the alternative where I support the downfall of a Black person falsely accused of something heinous.
It’s not that I think Black men are incapable of harm. I, myself, experienced quite horrific abuse at the hands of a Black male partner. Domestic violence, rape, and child abuse are persistent issues within Black communities like they are in all communities. The truth is that racism makes it tougher to address. We can’t give the same advice to Black people in those situations as we give to white people. Not the abused, nor the abuser.
The history of false allegations against Black people is the defining reason why "believe victims" doesn’t resonate with many disadvantaged people in society. It’s why the people most likely to be disbelieved often have the most trouble believing. If you find it easy just to assume anyone accusing someone of something like rape must be telling the truth, that’s your privilege showing. You haven’t had to grow up knowing that people will destroy the less powerful with a lie, just because they’re angry at you or need to save themselves.
I don’t automatically disbelieve victims either, though I am probably loath to act on allegations with no clear evidence. I do wonder why one wants to expose the abuser in some circles, but not others. I do query why they wouldn’t go to the police. I do look at their social group and the people I’m familiar with in that group. I think about how I’ve seen them behave in the past - any interactions I’ve had with them and their friends. If/how they indulge in alcohol and recreational drugs.
I’m not against either of those things, but I have seen the paranoia that accompanies the use of certain substances like cocaine. I’ve seen how alcohol can lead some people to misinterpret messages or read too much into them. I’ve seen that sort of misunderstanding escalate dramatically.
I don’t know what really happened between Karina Gasparova and her boss, Aleksander Goulandris. But what I do know is that white women can feel rejected by a lack of sexual interest, like Lena Dunham displayed when she felt ignored by Beckham Jr.
I know the assumption that all men desire white women can mean that interactions with them are given an additional context. My own son was accused of following a woman around a public swimming pool until she realized he’s both a child and neurodiverse, as well as accompanied by a white man (my ex, not his dad). My ex made enough fuss to warrant her being removed from the venue.
These experiences mean I’ll never be able to just "believe victims"; I’m not sure anyone should.
