Why I Don't Cheat in a Relationship
And 5 Reasons I won’t put up With a Cheater.
Plenty of people cheat. There is such a casual attitude about it for some people nowadays. I find this mind-boggling. We are living in strange times. It is nothing new, but some people stay in a relationship after they have been cheated on. Specifically, some women are known to put up with cheaters.
I cannot think of a good reason for a woman or girl to up with a boyfriend cheating on her. For that matter, I understand why many men would not tolerate their girlfriend cheating either. It is complicated, though, and some people have their reasons for staying.
Still, more men seem to understand the seriousness of infidelity and act accordingly, often being intolerant to it. Self-respect and ego are big factors for some. Based on long-term observations, I believe men generally have been much more intolerant to infidelity. Some also seem much less likely to get over it.
As a Christian, I understand sexual sin is equally wrong for men and women, but that is often not how it has been taught and perceived. Women and girls in various cultures have generally had much higher expectations placed on them. They not only are expected to behave better sexually and otherwise but have received a harsher judgment for not behaving in a manner that satisfies gender-based requirements.
I am aware that regardless of gender, both people should be faithful, and monogamous in their relationship and certainly within marriage. I wonder why some people contend that monogamy is “unnatural?” To each their own. Maybe I am the odd one out in my thoughts on this topic. Gladly, I will be the oddball.
Reasons I don’t cheat.
- Being faithful is a moral principle. First, on behalf of God, I do not cheat.
- Secondly, when I love someone I cannot cheat on them. Therefore, on behalf of my partner, I do not cheat. I would rather part ways with them if I am not satisfied, not betray them.
- STDS. Some STDS are rampant, and there are people who don’t seem to even care! I would not want to catch an STD.
- Cheating is lying. I want to be honest in all things.
- The golden rule- I don’t want to hurt my man by cheating; in the same way, I don’t want him to hurt me by cheating on me.
- I remember what 1 Corinthians 6: 9–10 has to say:
“ Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.”
Anyway, it is taught sometimes out of context that boys will be boys. It is great that boys will be boys when it comes to behaviors that are not sin. There are some natural differences in boys, and that is fine. However, sinful antics are part of what has been taught that is either ok, or less bad when boys or men do those things. I think this is one reason some women have generally been more forgiving and tolerant of their man cheating.
This is because our society has been corrupted and driven by misogynist influence that lets boys and men off the hook and has a history of being much harder on judging and restricting girls and women. Plenty of ladies and girls learned and accepted this previously. Thankfully, some men and women have since unlearned the double standards. I use the Bible as my guide. Some people tend to make up their own things, so I am grateful for my blueprint, which is the Bible.
Reasons I don’t put up with cheating:
1. Self-respect and dignity.
I cannot value a relationship where the man does not value me enough to be faithful to me. I know my worth.
2. Cheating is a very deliberate act.
I find cheating to be a particularly big betrayal and a great offense. It is malicious, purposeful, and to be taken very personally. Some ladies have been taught by some that men cannot control themselves down below the belt.
This is not true, but I have heard women justify their tolerance of infidelity for this reason. If a man or boy could not control themself sexually, the commands in the Bible, including 1 Corinthians 6: 9–10, 1 Corinthians 6:18 and 1 Corinthians 5: 1 would not exist.
But some men have told women they can’t help it and that women wouldn’t understand because they are women. Sadly, some women have bought into this lame cop-out. This lie has been successfully used to trick women into putting up with men who cheat. Not wanting to control oneself and not being willing to control oneself are two completely different things.
3. I do not have lower expectations for men and a higher tolerance for their bad behavior. I expect faithfulness from my man, just as I am faithful to him.
Many girls and women have been pre-conditioned to expect less of men in general. I learned the double standards as well but unlearned them. This goes back to “boys will be boys,” used out of context as a ticket out of culpability. It is often taught to us from a young age that boys’ offenses are less offensive. It can be difficult to debug oneself of conditioning that plants the idea that by default, boys and men have a birthright to act worse and are less accountable or responsible for it.
4. I am not lonely and desperate.
Some women simply cannot be without a man. Or at least they feel very strongly that they do not want to be without a man. If he happens to cheat, keeping him is better than being single in the mind of such a woman. I disagree with this mentality 100%.
5. Cheating means the trust is gone.
So why would I stay? If we have no trust, we have nothing. Some people say love causes them to put up with a cheater. I won’t argue with them. However, I think someone needs to have enough love for themself that they will not put up with those who do not love or value them. Infidelity is not an act of love.
I understand some people are married. This makes things even more difficult. So I am not speaking concerning married couples. God forbid adultery takes place, then spouses will have to sort that out the way they see fit, since they are married.
To sum it up, a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend lacks integrity. How could they be in love with their partner when a person in love and committed could not hurt their partner like that? A relationship should be healthy with mutual love, respect, and trust. Infidelity is not part of that equation.
