April 9th, 2017 — Green left and right, blue up

This article is part of the series “What is like to attempt suicide and fail”. Start there, if you have not read it yet.

Sunday, D-Day + 2

Green is everywhere. Left and right. Except up. Up is blue.

I have an iPhone in my hands. Headphones on. An audiobook plays the fifth book of Game of Thrones. Jon Snow still knows nothing. I can relate.

There I am, sitting in a suspended chair, swinging back and forth, staring out into the backyard.

Green is everywhere. Left and right. Except up. Up is blue.

Inside my body I have a bunch of Depakote ER, Lithium and a bit of Quetiapine. That and lithium are the new ingredients to my diet.

Lithium is very specific. A heavy weigh humor stabilizer it is here to make me stop thinking about checking out of the planet.

For the treatment of bipolar disorder, it is on the World Health Organization’s List of Essential Medicines, the most important medications needed in a basic health system. Lithium carbonate is used to treat mania, the elevated phase of bipolar disorder. Lithium ions interfere with ion transport processes (see “sodium pump”) that relay and amplify messages carried to the cells of the brain. Source: Wikipedia.

The thing is so good that Kurt Cobain used it for his mood swing problems. I wonder ho that turned out.

Quetiapine has another role. It is a a type of zombiefier in the form of beautiful round orange pills.

In those with bipolar disorder, quetiapine is used to treat depressive episodes, acute manic episodes associated with bipolar I disorder (as either monotherapy or adjunct therapy to lithium, valproate or lamotrigine), and maintenance treatment of bipolar I disorder (as adjunct therapy to lithium or divalproex). Source: Wikipedia.

Together, Lithium and Quetiapina made me sit in the suspended swinging chair in my backyard. For a whole Sunday.

Green is everywhere. Left and right. Except up. Up is blue.


I will post more tomorrow. I’ve created a list of songs I’m listening to while inside the psychiatric clinic. To listen, subscribe to the “After Death” playlist on Spotify. My list is now collaborative. THis means you can add tunes to it as well. Choose wisely.

If you want to talk to me, write to rodrigo@bressane.com.

Be kind,

Rodrigo