May, 12th 2017 — Life

This article is part of the series “What is like to attempt suicide and fail”. Start there, if you have not read it yet.


Jane Burnham: And what do you see?
Ricky Fitts: Beauty.

Friday, D Day + 35
Discharge day

I woke up early. I took a shower. I packed my things. It’s the day to leave the psychiatric clinic. I’m ready.

I say goodbye to who I can. The friends I made, the ones I know, the ones I don’t.

Some bureaucracy happens. Belongings are returned. A quick check. To see if everything that is mine and entered is coming out. No less, no more.

I get back my ID card and my medical insurance card. My iPhone was already with my family. I’m afraid to get it back. I think I’ll never turn it on again. I’d better not know what’s in there. I spent so much time without it. What harm will it make?

I hug my family. This is the last time they will have to come here. The blue gates are heavy, but they’re open. The car moves toward the exit.

I am out. And as I expected, everything is different. The breeze, the smells, and of course the sun. At that very moment, defying all my heroes of science, it shines differently. It does it better. For me.

Life, here I come. Please to meet you. My name is Rodrigo. Be kind.


This was the last post on this series. I would love to see your comments here.