WonderWomyaaaaawn

Cannon Hamaker
Jul 20, 2017 · 2 min read
That rug is looking so comfy right now.

This isn’t going to be popular. Well, here we go. Wonder Woman straight up put me to sleep, well… almost. More like morning before caffeine stupor type of sleepy. It’s not that it was bad, it’s that it was boring.

Not like 2005 King Kong boring, more like that one time you watched Sucker Punch and thought, wow, this is beautiful aaaaaand boring.

Actual Analysis

Most of the actors were great. The effects were fantastic. The dialogue wasn’t horrendous, so… bonus.

The story was okay, honestly, for DC, this is stellar. Most of the characters were on point. This would have been a great movie if it weren’t so bloody boring.

The pacing just didn’t sit right, for one, along with this terrible feeling that I’d seen it all before.

Take a dash of Gladiator, mix it with some Saving Private Ryan, add generic Super Hero and mix in some lightning and you get what amounts to a Hero’s Journey mad lib.

I really almost enjoyed the movie. (So bored)

Spoiler Alert.

The two main characters were on point. Honestly, you could not have picked a better Wonder Woman. She was amazing. Chris Pine was great, but could have been replaced with any other hunky A-lister. The supporting cast was exceptional in their portrayal of typical stereotypes. No complaints.

This leads me to my two main character complaints. Etta and Ares.

Etta gives us some great setup, some mediocre comedy, and we hope for more. Then it’s like she disappears from the movie. Convenient female character disappears conveniently.

Ares. What a mess. I have not cared less about a villain since Kylo Ren removed his helmet and turned into Darth Emo. Want to make a God extremely not intimidating, add an early 1900’s British style mustache. Plus, we all saw the plot twist coming, right? Right?

Historicity

Listen, the importance of the movie can’t be denied. It’s incredibly important to have this strong female lead.

Wonder Woman isn’t just the female version of Superman. She’s so much more. She’s been an incredible symbol of strength for a very long time, this movie celebrates her legacy and the legacy of the strength of women around the world.

The girls are going to love it, the guys are going to love it. Everybody is going to love it.

Except me.

It’s okay.

I’ll go watch Guardians of the Galaxy again.

AfterFlix

Movie and Television show reviews for the late viewer.

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Cannon Hamaker

Written by

Think about stuff, design stuff, make stuff, sell stuff, Repeat. I’m an entrepreneur, MBA, designer, artist, and troublemaker.

AfterFlix

AfterFlix

Movie and Television show reviews for the late viewer.

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