10 Things I’ve Had To (Re)learn About Love

My parents decided to separate and I pretty much said fuck love.

My parents broke the news to my little sister and I just a few weeks shy of my college graduation. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but I always hoped for later. I had just gotten out of a relationship that took me way too long to get over and with this new bomb being dropped on me, it was almost a no brainer that I had “fuck love” stamped across my forehead for months.

It’s been three years since that day and a little over two years since I’ve started dating my current partner. He is everything I want and everything I don’t. He challenges me in a way I have not been challenged before. He pushes me (sometimes too far) to do the things I don’t want to do, but need to do. He holds me accountable. He is the best teacher of patience and the best steward of support. He supports my inner most wildest dreams that one day I’ll be lucky enough to call realities.

But it hasn’t been all roses. Matter of fact, there have been times it’s been all guns and no roses at all. And yet, here we are! Two years later!

Our two year anniversary (last month) rolled around so fast we almost missed it! We “celebrated” by going to a bar for one drink before heading back home to go to bed. Shout out to my #CouplesWhoNap :)

Photo by South Sky Photography

Here’s a list of 10 things I’ve learned since my partner and I have started on our journey to one heart — some I’ve observed from my parents, and some we’ve grown through ourselves.

1. No one wins when the family feuds. It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, only that a solution emerges from the rubble
2. When you agree to be someone’s partner, you agree to accept all of their baggage and they agree to welcome all of yours
3. Give your partner the kind of love they want to receive, not the love you want them to have
4. Get comfortable with those one-off habits that may drive you crazy. You’re going to have to choose your battles wisely. That won’t be one of them, trust me
5. Relationships aren’t always 50/50. Sometimes they are 30/70 and there will be times you have to pull more of the weight
6. Support is EVERYTHING. I cannot stress that enough
7. The past cannot rest unless you leave it there (and this applies to everything, not just relationships)
8. There will be times you don’t like your partner. Correction: there will be LOTS of times you don’t like your partner (and honestly, your relationship hasn’t really begun until this happens)
9. Only the two of you get to decide the rules of your relationship. Not your parents, friends, or the hot-takes on Twitter
10. Cherish the stolen moments ❤️

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