14 REASONS TO GO FOR A WALK … OUTSIDE … RIGHT NOW.
1. Your pants have cobwebs.
2. Your lungs are bored.
3. Amazon redirected your search and sent you to Debtors Anonymous dot org.
4. You watch television, phone, and computer simultaneously.
5. You lost your shoes six months ago.
6. Your smart speaker spontaneously plays “Walk on the Wild Side.”
7. That’s not a UFO. It’s the sun.
8. You last saw your belt at the bottom of the junk drawer.
9. You talk to Facebook out loud.
10. You’ve memorized the loop on your fake fireplace flames.
11. You’re looking forward to a UPS delivery so you can flirt with the driver.
12. You’ve forgotten that “zoom” used to mean “go fast.”
13. There’s only one thing streaming on Netflix that you have not seen: a reality show about tattoo artists. In episode one, contestants compete by tattooing pig carcasses, which are hanging from hooks in a meat packing cooler.
14. You watch it.
