6 Powerful practices to be less judgmental
I am guilty of being too judgmental towards others and learned it the hard way. I faced disappointments, hurts, shame, and inferiority complex due to my wrongful behavior.
Through life’s lessons, I realized that being kind and forgiving is not about others. I needed to learn to be non-judgmental to lighten my baggage and find a path towards calm.
Self-growth is complex and difficult but I was determined to find answers. Through life experiences and many self-help books, I learned some best practices.
Here are a few of them I want to share today:
1. Stop comparing yourself with your contemporaries
It is a hard habit to break but important still. Only because someone has the same parents, same race, or ethnicity, does not mean that they are the same as yours. It does not mean that your successes and failures are going to be the same. You have your path and your battles. You are different due to the complex play of genetics and upbringing. This play is beyond human control. Give yourself the benefit of doubt. Develop self-love and empathy. If you accept yourself, it is easier to accept others.
2. Watch similarities not differences
Try to interact with people from diverse backgrounds. It helps to discern more commonalities and cut differences. Watch documentaries on indigenous cultures to observe basic human traits. Realize that most humans are only trying to survive.
3. Remember the previous misjudgment
Remember instances when you misjudged someone! First, you labeled someone to be a loser/idiot/mean later to feel embarrassment and shame. You are not capable of seeing anyone’s life picture so refrain from making instant opinions.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Be an observer and not an actor in your emotional drama. Stop judging every experience as good or bad. Try to accept what comes your way. Do not get into ‘Analysis-Paralysis’.
5. Take yourself lightly
It is easier said than done because most of us tend to think that we are always right. Yet, our judgments of people change as our mood and past influence those judgments. Thus, our judgments are volatile and impermanent. So, don’t always trust what you think no matter how right it feels.
6. Sync in opposite views
Sometimes try to indulge in discussions with people you disagree with. Understand people’s right to express their opinions and your right to disagree. It feels hard in the beginning but builds patience and tolerance.
Remember, it is not about perfection but about intention and effort. The path towards self-transformation is treacherous but these habits will prove life-changing.
Leaving you a famous quote from Henry David Thoreau:
“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.”
