A letter to my son

Stephanie Chizoba Odili
a Few Words
Published in
2 min readMay 27, 2019


Dear darling,


I want to teach you what it means to be a better man than the ones before you.

A caring man who will treat everyone equally. Who will acknowledge that sexism exists and fight it judiciously as an ally would; spending all your life to ensure gender equality is achieved and sustained.

A man who will not expect that women owe him anything, for going out on a date, for kissing him, or just for existing. You'll understand and acknowledge that you are owed nothing and no woman is entitled to you in anyway whatsoever.

A man who will not expect to be mothered by the person who is going to be your life partner (if this is what you wish). You’ll be kind and gentle man, and have a lot more emotional intelligence than the ones who came before you.

You will have friends who are just like you and think just like you. Able to listen to the voice of others and not just your own. You’ll understand that sex is not yours to take or a woman’s body yours to gawk over, hypsersexualise and control. You must understand, enforce, practice and preach respect and consent.

I pray that you don’t get in the coil of toxic masculinity or masculinity in fact. That you be yourself instead, however you like. No bounds. You will understand that ALL women MUST be respected, and without being attached to someone. She is not someone’s wife, mother, daughter or whatever. She is her. You will treat her as such.

Remember all these.

Signed, your mama.

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