1 Year Ago I Got Engaged

January 2nd, 2022 (4:51pm)

Alec Zaffiro
a Few Words

--

Learn about this series here.

Journal Entry #1:

I’m engaged. To Aja. We’ve already had two bad “fights.” Arguments.

I can’t help but question if we’ve made the wrong choices. At this point, we are so far in.

I don’t necessarily even want otherwise, but this feels like a deliberate decision I’ve made. An altercation to my life that feels tangible. Perhaps every change comes w/ friction & resistance.

Perhaps its willful blindness. Maybe I’m a fool. Perhaps I’m brave. Maybe this is Gods plan, maybe Satan has dug himself into me. I don’t know.

It’s all deciding. Choosing. Picking. Agreeing to act.

I just feel a sense of letting go. I have less guard over my life, less stability and I’ve granted someone access to everything, someone I will call to forever, for eternity.

Someone I’m glued to. Stuck with, in the literal sense that I’m bound to them permanently.

I know these are negative, but they are real. I don’t desire to have additional input. I want to run & hide. Give up.

Welcome to adulthood, the suffering prevails.

Interpretation

--

--

Alec Zaffiro
a Few Words

I write to think and organize my ideas. I like psychology, philosophy, and self-improvement—em dashes are my specialty. Not an expert.*