Four Kinds of Feedback
My wife often notices that I take things a tad more personal than the average person. Feedback from people — far and near — has been an issue for me for a while. I never knew when to simply ignore or when to engage or when to prod for more.
With time, I developed my own system to allow me to handle it better. By the time I got better at it, I realized something even cooler than a system to parse feedback.
If you’re like me and you tend to always have to deal with other people’s ideas and opinions, here are 4 types of feedback and what you can do to make use of it all.
1. Feedback you don’t want and you don’t get
Since you’ll never have this, you won’t know what you don’t know. You’ll never hear it to make il your mind and hopefully, you’ll never need it.
2. Feedback you don’t want and you get
This is where you can evolve. You have a chance here to decide what to do with it. It allows you to test your personal values and even show grace in how you deal with the source of feedback.
3. Feedback you want and you don’t get
Maybe you need a compliment to feel like what you’re doing works. Such feedback is often external and very cheap to get. Also, cheap to go. It is very quantifiable and hardly relevant to your journey.
4. Feedback you want and you get
This could either boost your ego in the wrong setting or break your last hope. It may be that the book you thought sucked, actually sucked. Or the video you made achieved its purpose in a brilliant way.
Do you need feedback though? And should you get it from if you do? Is it possible to live life without getting people’s opinions on us?Is it possible to live in such a way that we choose what opinions affect how we live?
No matter how I look at the 4 kinds of feedback the core recurrence for me is the idea of free will: decision and choice.
We can choose —
A) Who we get feedback from
B) What we do with it
So, it doesn’t matter what kind you get, as much as what kind you seek. And, it doesn’t matter what kind you seek as much as what you do with whatever you get.
Feedback < Questions < Action
There’s a thin line between Self-doubt and Self-awareness. Let your actions give you the feedback you need.
“Actions express priorities” — Gandhi