How Not To Do Business
The surefire way to fail as a solopreneur
Be content with the status quo
Stay in your comfort zone at all times. Don’t try new things! After all, that’s way too risky and you could lose out on something or have to work a little harder.
Be just like everyone else
Don’t stand out, under any circumstances. Avoid being different and shoving your USP in potential clients’ faces. No one wants a braggart. Play it safe and blend in.
Repeat whatever everyone else says
Don’t have an opinion! That’s a big no-no. Repeat and share what others are saying and refrain from adding your own comments or thoughts. After all, what if people don’t like them?
Always eat alone
Don’t waste your time scheduling lunch dates or attending networking brunches. That’s for losers who have no work to do. You’re busy, so keep your head down and scoff down your lunch at your desk while you’re answering emails. You’ll be so much more efficient than those networking time-wasters.
Follow every trend
If everyone else does it, it must be good! Follow the crowd, and don’t stand out. Hop onto the latest bandwagon every time. Nobody likes show-offs who think they know everything better.
Forget everyone’s birthday and important dates
Isn’t that what friends and family are for? It’s simply unnecessary to fill up your brain with useless details like client or peer birthdays or anniversaries. You’ve got bigger fish to fry!
Always compare yourself against your weakest competitor
Stay away from the big guns; they’re nothing but trouble! As long as you only measure yourself against the small fries, you’ll come out on top and be just fine. Just keep on keeping on, right in your comfort zone.
Only hang out with people you know
Making new connections is something for folks who can’t get any work and are desperate for new clients. That’s not you, for sure. Stick to who and what you know, and you’ll be all right. After all, you haven’t starved yet.
Don’t support anyone without expecting something in return
Make sure everyone knows you’re not a pushover and won’t be taken advantage of. Every time you do something nice for a client or help a colleague out, be sure to ask for a favour in return and keep a tally. Tit for tat.
That’s it! Now you’re perfectly equipped to fail in your business endeavour.
