How To Be Friends With Your Family

Drew Stegmaier
a Few Words
Published in
2 min readSep 29, 2020

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Everyone is trying to connect. Whatever behavior manifests, remember that. Whether it be good or evil, boring, or exciting, we are all simply trying to relate and connect with one another. Unfortunately, we don’t always connect in the way we hope to. What follows is a quick guide to becoming friends with the people you call your family.

  • Assume best intentions and own impact- this goes for yourself and them.
  • No, you don’t know better. No, they don’t know better. If people knew better, they would do better, so be gentle.
  • Practice listening rather than practicing fixing.
  • Compliment often, and genuinely. Acknowledge the good and practice gratitude.
  • Share meals. Cook together.
  • Ask them how they prefer to connect. What they prefer to be called. What they enjoy. What they dislike. Find common ground.
  • Take care of yourself.
  • Love the action is a verb. It is always conditional because love manifests as a behavior. Love the feeling is different.

Revisiting the above at a regular cadence will improve your relationships. Remember, relationships are a dynamic activity. They don’t sit still over time. Even if you love someone consistently over time, it’s likely because of the continued behaviors they demonstrate rather than one thing that happened long ago.

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