How to Not Be a D*ck
It’s really not hard
This is the age of “political hot takes ”— the era where someone says some derogatory shit and expects someone to not be upset by it.
It doesn’t take much to be kind to your fellow man. You can literally — and I can’t stress this enough — say nothing.
Like nothing at all.
But that seems to be too hard for some. So let’s try a few other concepts.
IT’S OK TO NOT HAVE AN OPINION
I once overheard some previous coworkers talking about how they feel about mental illness.
Everyone gets sad sometimes
People just need to cheer up
People shouldn’t be so sensitive
Keep in mind, they didn’t know that I suffered from panic attacks. You know, that thing where your body’s fight-or-flight response triggers for absolutely no reason.
I wanted to say, “You two just nailed it — over two centuries worth of studies concerning the complexities of emotions and the human brain and you two jackasses just figured it out in under a minute.”
But I didn’t say anything.
If you fall into the category of needing to share an opinion on topics you know nothing about — just don’t. You never know who around you may be suffering from that one thing that you find oh so stupid.
It’s easy to assign simplistic logic to complex issues
YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL PEOPLE HOW TO FEEL
This is pretty self explanatory.
You do not have the right to tell people what they should or should not be offended by. We all have our own truths that we have to live in and just because something is ok to you doesn’t mean that it’s ok to others.
Calling people “snowflakes” or sensitive for not liking a derogatory comment you may have made is just a cop out so that you don’t have to grow as a person. It’s easier to make somebody else feel like shit instead of addressing the fact that you may have misspoke.
How about next time you feel the urge to call someone sensitive or “triggered”, you just try to understand their point of view — or, conversely, just shut the f*ck up.
LISTEN TO WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY
I once heard a male correspondent trying to “mansplain” to a woman why he felt the #metoo movement was invalid. She tried to explain from her expert point-of-view (being a woman) why he was misunderstanding the movement, but alas, he was unwavering.
It’s easy to talk over someone, especially when you don’t want to hear what they have to say.
You know what he could’ve done? He could have listened to her and understood that you don’t know, what you don’t know.
A straight person is never going to know what it’s like to be gay.
A male is never going to know what it’s like to be female.
A non-minority is never going to know what it’s like to be a minority.
The guy could have listened to someone who probably, sad to say, has more experience with work place harassment than he does. But that would have been too hard.
LAST WORDS ON NOT BEING A DICK
Im not saying that anyone has to be a saint, I’m certainly not. We all misspeak or say things that we shouldn’t say.
What I’m saying is that words have power to them. If they didn’t, motivational books wouldn’t be popular.
So next time you want to troll someone on Facebook or throw a hot-take out there, remember — it takes nothing to empathize, listen, and shut the f*ck up.
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