Member-only story
I Once Wanted to Prove Myself to My Friends
And that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
When I was in high school, I had five close friends. We studied, hung out, went shopping — we almost did everything together.
But as someone says, “those you love hurt you the most,” there were times they said and did things really hurt me.
When I was slow to understand a story, they laughed out loud, making me feel like they were mocking my slowness.
When I acted unwisely, they told me I should have been smarter.
When I got lower grades than others, they said I had no talent.
I thought that I was inherently flawed. That something inside me was broken. That I should accept what they said and live with it.
I kept all of those bad feelings inside my heart. I told myself I’d stop talking to them. I’d prove them wrong and make them admire me.
Luckily, I didn’t do that.
Today, they’re my soulmates. We’re so close that sometimes I think we’re sisters by blood.
Looking back on those days when I tried to justify myself, I realize that it was an awful decision.
I was obsessed with what they said and accidentally created a competition for myself. I entered a race when I was only one player. No one forced me to prove my worth. No one said exactly that “you’re nothing.”
I was thinking too much. I overcomplicated my friendship and my life.
When we feel undervalued or misunderstood, we can’t resist the urge to prove ourselves.
We want to “revenge.” Dreaming one day, we can say, “I’m right, and you’re miserably wrong.”
But what’s the point of doing such a thing?
Life isn’t a race. So don’t try to make one.
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