I’m Not An Alcoholic…

Kayla Douglas
Aug 2 · 2 min read
Photo by monica di loxley on Unsplash

I’m not an alcoholic but
Since I gave up drinking
I struggle to find ways to face my pain.
I long to have just one glass although I know
I would inevitably pour another.

I am not an alcoholic since
I’ve never gotten
In too much trouble from drinking
And I can still control
When I drink or not
I just lose control
After one drink.

I’m not an alcoholic however,
when I tell people I’m not ordering wine
Because I quit drinking
They congratulate me
Do they think I have a problem?

I’m not an alcoholic and
I don’t really enjoy being drunk.
But I miss the buzzed feeling-
numbing negatives
and making the space around me vibrate
feeling so much sexier.

I’m not an alcoholic though,
when I drink I am not my best.
I self-sabotage-
Regress to earlier versions of me,
Attempt to end good relationships,
Even the one with myself.

I’m not an alcoholic but,
socializing sober always terrified me.
Choosing not to drink
is never an easy selection.

I’m not an alcoholic so,
not everyone is comfortable with my choice.
I guess it's only acceptable to give up drinking
once you have become an alcoholic.

I’m not an alcoholic yet,
and so I’ll write my destiny
and avoid the delicious drinks
that have never been a friend to me.

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Kayla Douglas

Written by

Life Coach, author, lifelong learner, travel enthusiast, narcolepsy advocate, living in Myanmar, she/her https://www.kaylamdouglas.com

a Few Words

A few words can change lives.

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