A PERSONAL ESSAY
Love and Laughter
For Josh
Before I met him I was not comfortable in my own skin. Now I lie next to him, naked, and blissfully unaware of my extra curves.
I rest my head against my love where I can hear the thrum of his heart. There is reassurance in its sound. His strong arm is curled under me and his hand skims over my back before pulling me closer. I concentrate on remembering this moment for the rest of my days. Every detail is vitally important.
The fear of not being able to commit it all to perfect memory pulls a worry from the back of my mind. What if someday I lose him? I would only have shadows of memories left behind. Life would become unbearably paralyzing without him. I would become a madwoman with sadness rolling off me like tidal waves.
A whispered ‘I love you’ drags me back to the present severing me from my dreary thoughts. His body’s warmth spreads across my skin under the covers and subdues my oncoming panic.
We chitchat about our lives. We reminisce about past dates and when our son was little. Our conversation evolves in random directions.
He hypnotizes me with an amusing story and I feel my grin grow against his bare chest. I’m an addict riding the high he generously gives me. When a giggle escapes, my delight is encouraged by my lover with witty remarks.
He acts with kindness and affection. He loves me for who I am. He loves me despite my many flaws.
I am grateful I met my love all those years ago. His playful smile first drew me in. His humor keeps me listening. His heart shows me every day that I am loved.
He’s a storyteller who makes me laugh.
He’s my lover and my best friend.
He’s my partner from now until we’re dust.
