Mother, The Scar You Gave
Parents, please stop ruining your kid’s life
7 PM, Saturday, November 28, 2020
Sylvie was standing still in the corner of their bedroom, silent, tears were rolling down her cheeks. The guy, she called her husband, was relentlessly shouting at her. He was blaming her for ruining his life. He often does that. No, Sylvie did not do any such thing to be slammed like this. She knew it but could not speak up. It felt like someone had sewn her mouth shut! He was going on and on and after a while, Sylvie started feeling guilty. His words made her believe that it was all her fault. She thought that she was getting what she deserved! She did not move. She did not do anything to stop him.
Sylvie never stopped him, or any guy she had been with before, for treating her like that.
3 PM, Friday, June 25, 1999
A 10-year-old girl was standing still and crying, in the dining hall. Her mother was yelling at her because she did not follow what she had asked her to do. She was trembling in fear every time her mother raised her voice. No, the girl did not do anything so bad that she should be ill-treated like this. She tried to explain but her mother was not ready to listen and got even angrier. She went silent. Later, her mother praised her in front of their family and friends for her endurance. It used to happen often. And every time her mother felt so proud, even romanticized about the fact that her innocent daughter could bear the suffering she had caused her. The young girl always looked up to her mother. So, she took it into her heart and thought that it was her superpower, an impressive personality trait that every girl should have.
The young girl from 1999 is Sylvie from 2020. She never understood why she kept choosing toxic partners in life until recently when she went to therapy. There she learned about the devastating effects of emotional and psychological abuses in childhood, including the formation of self-sabotaging habits in people who went through it. She connected the dots.
Dear Parents, you have the time from day one to make it right. You have the most significant impact on your child’s life. Please do not mess it up. If you don’t do it right, it’s you who fail them before they fail you!
