“Obviously you’re not much of a businesswoman. That’s why I’m still making money in my business and you have no income.”
Her words hit me like a hard slap in the face. She was my friend! How dare she speak so rudely to me. Honestly, I felt so much shame that she didn’t consider me to be a good businessperson. I hadn’t failed at my business. I had walked away from a partnership to disentangle myself from unethical practices. It was all I could do to remain seated at the conference table where we discussed a new partnership which we were entering into together.
A new thought interrupted my feelings of shame. “I wonder why she has this thought about me? She must not know me very well.”
In that moment, all the shame brought on by her original comment lifted. The epiphany that swept through my mind and body was a realization that the words she spoke to me was a thought in her mind. This was her thought…and she didn’t know me well enough to have a different thought. She didn’t have all the facts.
Now, instead of shame, I felt relief — and then curiosity — in the realization that her words came from a “thought” that was in her head. It wasn’t a fact. It was a thought. I cannot control what other people think, but I can control what I think. I know my history in business to be a different story.
