Social Media Makes Me Feel Empty
The parallel world during a pandemic
We all have bad days
Today wasn’t the saddest I’ve ever had
However, Before I got to bed I decided to scroll through Instagram
Bad idea
Everyone having fun
Why not? It’s Friday night
I don’t blame them
No matter how much I tell myself I’m not alone
I still feel lonely
I know tomorrow I’ll be fine but why does my brain play me like this
Is like I’m missing something
Life slipping through my fingers
It’s been seven months
The fear of missing out won’t let me sleep
This is supposed to be the time of my life
What if it doesn’t get better than this?
Am I wasting my life? If so what can I do about it?
Every person is different
We all have priorities and goals in life
I try to focus on mine
But social media makes me feel like I’m wrong
I spend my days making plans for my future and putting myself out there to become the person I want to be
The person I already am
Maybe I’m not doing it right
Perhaps I have to be more social in order to feel less alone
To feel accepted
Do I even know how to be around a lot of people anymore?
Everybody says that the more weird and different you are in life is one of the keys to be successful
Or maybe I got it all wrong and I have to be like everybody else
That way I’ll feel like I’m part of something
Less alone
I’ve friends… a few to say the least
They are good and kind to me
Sometimes I feel like they are enough
But then I see all these Instagram stories of my not so close friends with a bunch of people having fun and being happy
Going on trips to Cancun …
There’s still a Pandemic out there you know?
Am I missing something?
Are they really happy?
Are they pretending to have the best time?
Or am I the one pretending to be fine by having just a few friends and not going out?
Is this black a white? Or the gray area is as small as a penny?
Am I the only one feeling this way?