This Time, It Was My Fault I Was Sexually Harassed
Let me tell you why
First things first, I’m not someone who blames themselves for even being there in the first place.
I’ve had my fair share of sexual harassment incidents. I don’t want to explain them all since it’s not necessary. But what is necessary is me telling you that every incident was different.
I was groped in a very busy road once. I was asked for sexual favours one time. Me saying no didn’t make him stop. Him seeing the gendarmerie (police) around the corner did.
There’s hardly anything I learn from sexual harassment but this time round, I did.
I learned that this time, it was my fault he sexually harassed me. I think I enabled him.
Now, let’s be honest here. He was the one lurking in my area, in a particular area where it was empty. You’re probably wondering what I was even doing there in the first place.
It’s the only way home. We live in an isolated area, unfortunately.
He was the one who touched my breast. I never explicitly asked him to. But then again, I never explicitly told him to leave me alone.
I’m British. I assumed that my body language would ward him off. But I wasn’t even in the U.K when this happened.
Also, body language isn’t good enough. Ever.
I made that mistake of assuming so.
I thought that me not being interested would ward him off. It didn’t. Until he touched my breast. I wriggled out and picked up the pace.
That’s when he turned around and walked away. Maybe finally then he got the message. But I shouldn’t have relied on body language. I had a better chance with me actually saying no.
What he did was sexual harassment. He shouldn’t even be touching a woman anyway. But if he really intended to hurt me, it wouldn’t have mattered what I had done.
Just like the guy who asked me for sexual favours when I was 17. Me saying no didn’t stop him. But that was only him, not every guy in existence.
Hear me out, I’m not standing up for someone who touched me without my permission.
What I’m trying to say is that honestly, I do have to take some blame for it.
And not for something that has nothing to do with the chain of events, like being outside at that time, or being in this place at that time looking like this. Do I know the future?
I directly impacted the chain of events by not saying anything. I should’ve spoken up. Because even if it still happened, I know that at least I didn’t enable them.
Xayaat Saeed is a writer and poet who battles the evil villains Procrastinator and Writer’s Block whenever she can!
Get her debut poetry collection, The Breast Mountains Of All Time Are In Hargeisa, here.
