
Why are families so difficult?
What makes family relationships so difficult?
Families are our first love relationship
We enter the world into the arms of our mother
Some are whisked away to other families
But most remain with the one who birthed them
A family is then created
Who would have known?
How difficult families can be
I speak the truth; some may deny their family’s foibles
Who has a family that isn’t annoying at times?
Despite the turmoil, heartbreak, or aggravation
Yet, we keep going back
Heading towards them like a flock of geese flying South for the winter
Or penguins finding their way across vast oceans to gather in the same spot
Being pulled by an inexplicable force
Unbeknownst to us we too keep drifting back
Back towards people who have held our childhood in their arms
We believe they love us but are not sure at times.
Hoping that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different
A place where our childhood memories, good or bad, rematerialize.
Where roles and emotional baggage regain momentum, once your foot enters the door
You may deny it to yourself or others, that families can be difficult
How many times do you wonder why you visit, could it be out of obligation?
Or enjoy their company, or think you enjoy their company
Once there, what happens?
Yet, we keep going back.
To face the same ending, time and time again
You may giggle with your friends about your family, some may weep, or scream.
The force of the family whips up emotions that are too deep to comprehend
Only to be stirred up again by the force of the family.
Is the answer to avoid or run away?
I suggest the answer is to turn towards yourself, explore, and nurture you
Take a Pause: Turn towards yourself
As you sit with your family, instead of reacting as you normally would
Take a deep breath in and pause, observe your emotions.
Observe how you were just about to react
This is your survival self, stepping in to protect you
Your healthy self will wait and watch
Remember the only way to heal your wounds is to turn towards yourself


