Worrying About My Future At 19
It’s all in my head.
Is it normal to panic about my future after turning 19? Because that’s what I’ve been doing so far and nothing helps to stop the constant thoughts in my head. All I can think is about the bleak future that I’m gonna have: graduate with a boring business degree and find a 9–6 desk job which I’ll have till the day I retire. I have zero luck in the love department so I’m gonna be alone forever.
This is the future I envision myself to have. It’s pathetic and I’m afraid that it’ll come true. But WHY do I feel this way? Am I the only one?
I guess one of the reasons that I can think of is that I have no confidence in myself. Growing up, I legit think that I have no talent and hence, I’m useless. I’ve always believed that I’m an average person and thus, I deserve a mediocre life. With this belief, it’s hard for me to envision a bright future for myself. I don’t think that I’ll achieve great things or that I’m capable so my future should be bleak, right? Bright futures are reserved for people with great talents such as Albert Einstein or Kelly Clarkson, not for a peasant like me.
BUT.
If I’m panicking about my future, it means that part of me thinks that I DON’T deserve this bleak future. It means that part of me does want to change it and live a fulfilling life. But what’s the first step in changing my life?
It’s all about the mindset.
I need to have more faith in myself and believe in the fact that I can have an exciting future. To do this, I surround myself with an amazing support system. My loved ones will constantly remind me that I’m great and that there’s nothing to worry about. I also have a daily motivation app that will provide daily notifications with motivational quotes. They help me to stay on track and constantly give me the push to do things. One of my favourite quotes is
“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts”.
I guess my spiralling thoughts fuel even more negative thoughts. It’s hard to get out of that spiral but push through. One day, these thoughts will not come as frequently and I’m sure that I’ll be more optimistic as time flies by.
One day, I’ll develop more confidence. One day, I’ll believe 100% in myself. One day, I’ll conquer my future.
