Beauty Is a Gift You Give to Others
Not something you hoard for yourself
I wanted what so many want: self-love. To love my body, and feel beautiful.
Feeling desperately inadequate, beauty was something I burned to get.
What I eventually realized is that when I focus on being beautiful — on securing and safeguarding an image of myself as “attractive enough” — I suffer.
Instead, I want to focus on giving my beauty to others. I also want to focus on appreciating the beauty that others give.
The shift looks like this.
Beauty hoarding: I worry how I look. I check anxiously in the mirror.
Beauty giving: I admire how you look. I find little things, and sometimes deeper things, to appreciate in each person.
Beauty hoarding: I am self-conscious during a conversation. Am I coming across as smart, sexy, competent?
Beauty giving: I am conscious of your experience. How are you feeling? What is it like to be YOU? How can I know and understand you better as we talk? Can I add value to your life today?
Beauty hoarding: I feel unworthy because my clothes are shabby and I’m missing some of my hair. I want to be one of the attractive people who people envy. I want to be hot enough to…
